[title]Family quotes[/title] [description]Welcome to our family quotes section! Here you'll find some of the funniest (and wisest) quotes on the subject of family life![/description]
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Latest post Fri, Jan 4 2008 9:08 AM by Anonymous. 6 replies.
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Lana  +  31231 Thu, 27 May 04 11:00 PM
This one's about the Finnish people. It was not my intention to offend anyone, so if anyone does feel offended I am very sorry and will ask the moderators to remove it.



+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
The Finns are out in the sun,getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start.
The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C / -58°F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real
winter weather.

-60°C / -76°F
Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.
The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva
vodka) outdoors.
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."

-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over.
Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest
Joined on Sat, May 22 2004
Full Member 108
Lana  +  31232 Thu, 27 May 04 11:19 PM
Some more jokes:

Mum knows everything:

Mum taught me how to respect a well done job: If you want to kill each other do it outside. I've just cleaned the carpet.

Mum taught me the basics of logic: Why? Because I said so.

Mum taught me how to behave properly: Stop behaving like your father.

Mum taught me the basics of irony: If you don't stop screaming, I'll give you something to scream about.

Mum taught me how to twist my body into extreme positions: Just look at that dirt on your neck.

Mum taught me patience: You will sit here until the vegetables disappear.

Mum taught me the basics of meteorolgy: Your room looks like it has been hit by a tornado.

Mum taught me about expectation: Just you wait when we get home.

And mum taught me one last wisdom: When you'll be my age you'll understand.



I found it funny.


maj, 5 yr 184 days ago
Haha, Lol.

Didn't your father told you the truth: Your mum is always right! Smile [:)]
Lana, 5 yr 184 days ago
Good one, maj.Big Smile [:D]
chris  +  31262 Fri, 28 May 04 12:07 PM
Nice jokes Lana, are you from Finland???

It's funnt that you mention the Eurovision song contest. People here (in Malta) take the competition so seriously when everyone knows it's just a joke.
Joined on Mon, Apr 7 2003
Malta
Contributing Member 1,105
Lana  +  31283 Fri, 28 May 04 06:27 PM
No, I'm not from Finland, that's why I apologized at the beginning. Actually, I don't know anything about the Finns otherwise and have really nothing against them, but this joke isn't that offensive, I think. It's more about the weather than it is about people themselves.

I can post some jokes about my country as well, if you'd like to see them, but it'll take some time.
Anonymous, 1 yr 328 days ago
 Lana wrote:
No, I'm not from Finland, that's why I apologized at the beginning. Actually, I don't know anything about the Finns otherwise and have really nothing against them, but this joke isn't that offensive, I think. It's more about the weather than it is about people themselves.

I can post some jokes about my country as well, if you'd like to see them, but it'll take some time.


As a Finn I can assure you that the joke is hilarious and not offensive in any way. Smile [:)]
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