A Scottish Wedding in England

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Arne H. Wilstrup:
My wife and I have been invited to a Scottish wedding in England (near the border of Scotland, near Gretna Green). We have received a letter from the father of the bride to be. We have decided to accept this invitation, but how do we reply in a way that is considered 'correct' according to customs in Scotland? I know that we will have to answer the bride's family, but how? What is the precise and recommended way of saying 'yes' in this situation. (apart from that I have been asked to use a bow tie, but I am not familiar with what kind of clothing goes with a bow tie (I am not wearing a kilt), but I know this is beyond this group's agenda, so I shall just ask somebody else about this, but an answer to how to reply to the invitation on a ceremonial basis would be most welcomed, especially if you are Scottish or at least are aware of the traditions there about weddings.

The allegedly happy couple are in their mid-thirties and younger, but I should very much want to do this correctly.
Any suggestions, please?
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Athel Cornish-Bowden:
[nq:1]My wife and I have been invited to a Scottish wedding in England (near the border of Scotland, near Gretna ... accept this invitation, but how do we reply in a way that is considered 'correct' according to customs in Scotland?[/nq]
The "correct" form of reply depends on the wording of the invitation, and as you haven't divulged that it's not possible to answer your question without a lot of guessing. As a general guide, if the invitation is in the third person then you reply in the third person; if not, not.
[nq:1]I know that we will have to answer the bride's family, but how? What is the precise and recommended way ... I am not familiar with what kind of clothing goes with a bow tie (I am not wearing a kilt),[/nq]
Very wise. Even a Scot can look ridiculous in a kilt, and a Sassenach is almost certain to look ridiculous in a kilt.
[nq:1]but I know this is beyond this group's agenda, so I shall just ask somebody else about this, but an ... couple are in their mid-thirties and younger, but I should very much want to do this correctly. Any suggestions, please?[/nq]
athel
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Arne H. Wilstrup:
"Athel Cornish-Bowden" (Email Removed) skrev i meddelelsen
[nq:2]My wife and I have been invited to a Scottish ... way that is considered 'correct' according to customs in Scotland?[/nq]
[nq:1]The "correct" form of reply depends on the wording of the invitation, and as you haven't divulged that it's not ... general guide, if the invitation is in the third person then you reply in the third person; if not, not.[/nq]
The invitation goes:
Mr. and Mrs. (the bride's family's name) request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Arne Wilstrup at the marriage of their daughter (bride's name) to Mr. (bridegroom's name) at (name of the hotel) on Saturday 7th August 2010 at
3.00 p.m.

RSVP
[nq:2]I know that we will have to answer the bride's ... with a bow tie (I am not wearing a kilt),[/nq]
[nq:1]Very wise. Even a Scot can look ridiculous in a kilt, and a Sassenach is almost certain to look ridiculous in a kilt.[/nq]
As a Dane I don't think I should be considered a Sassenach Emotion: smile, but you're quite right. Besides, a kilt, which I don't own, is very expensive, so I don't think that I should ever approach such a clothing.

However, given the contents of the invitation, would you be able to suggest the reply to the bride's family?
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mm:
[nq:1]My wife and I have been invited to a Scottish wedding in England (near the border of Scotland, near Gretna ... couple are in their mid-thirties and younger, but I should very much want to do this correctly. Any suggestions, please?[/nq]
A simple note with a simple message: "Be there at eight. Don't be late."

Posters should say where they live, and for which area they are asking questions. I was born and then lived in Western Pa. 10 years
Indianapolis 7 years
Chicago 6 years
Brooklyn, NY 12 years
Baltimore 26 years
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Ian Jackson:
[nq:2]The "correct" form of reply depends on the wording of ... then you reply in the third person; if not, not.[/nq]
[nq:1]The invitation goes: Mr. and Mrs. (the bride's family's name) request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Arne Wilstrup at the marriage of their daughter (bride's name) to Mr. (bridegroom's name) at (name of the hotel) on Saturday 7th August 2010 at 3.00 p.m. RSVP[/nq]
Something like:
"Mr. and Mrs. Arne Wilstrup thank Mr. and Mrs. (the bride's family's name) for their invitation to the marriage of their daughter (bride's name) to Mr. >(bridegroom's name), and are pleased to accept."
[nq:2]Very wise. Even a Scot can look ridiculous in a kilt[/nq]
There's no "can" about it!
[nq:2], and a Sassenach is almost certain to look ridiculous in a kilt.[/nq]
[nq:1]As a Dane I don't think I should be considered a Sassenach Emotion: smile, but you're quite right. Besides, a kilt, which I don't own, is very expensive, so I don't think that I should ever approach such a clothing.[/nq]
It will be considered a deep insult if you do not turn up in full traditional Viking folk dress.
[nq:1]However, given the contents of the invitation, would you be able to suggest the reply to the bride's family?[/nq]
Ian
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tony cooper:
[nq:1]My wife and I have been invited to a Scottish wedding in England (near the border of Scotland, near Gretna ... couple are in their mid-thirties and younger, but I should very much want to do this correctly. Any suggestions, please?[/nq]
This is a US answer, but it may be interesting to see what the customs are in different countries.
In the US, we do not normally respond to a wedding invitation. Exceptions may be relatives or special guests. Church seating is open, and it doesn't make any tangible difference to the bride and groom how many people come to the ceremony.
Where a response is called for is when the invitation is to a wedding and a reception, and food and drink will be provided at the reception. It's essential that the host family know how many will attend the reception. When a reception is involved, the wedding invitation usually contains a card that is mailed back to indicate if the invitee plans to attend. If the guests are all or mostly local, the invitation may provide a phone number to RSVP.
It's bad form in the US to receive an invitation to the reception and not acknowledge whether or not you'll attend. If a sit-down dinner is part of the reception, then it's extremely bad form not to acknowledge.

Tony Cooper - Orlando, Florida
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John Dean:
[nq:1]Very wise. Even a Scot can look ridiculous in a kilt, and a Sassenach is almost certain to look ridiculous in a kilt.[/nq]
Nonsense. I saw Elizabeth Hurley in a kilt and she looked lovely. It wasn't a very long kilt but still ...

John Dean
Oxford
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Arne H. Wilstrup:
"tony cooper" skrev i meddelelsen
[nq:2]My wife and I have been invited to a Scottish ... very much want to do this correctly. Any suggestions, please?[/nq]
[nq:1]This is a US answer, but it may be interesting to see what the customs are in different countries. In ... not you'll attend. If a sit-down dinner is part of the reception, then it's extremely bad form not to acknowledge.[/nq]
Thank you for your interesting point of American wedding culture - I am aware of the fact that we have to respond, and as we are polite persons we shall definitely do so - both in an English/Scot wedding and in an American. The wedding in question is not a church wedding. It will take place at the hotel with a registrar (is this the correct word?) present.

I have deliberately tried to avoid too many questions according to culture in this group as it is a group for the English language, so I am happy that you have contributed to my cultural knowledge of how some of the traditions are. I know very little about this and I am not aware of any group where English customs and traditions are discussed, so I am grateful that you have taken your time to explain it for me.Thank you very much.
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Arne H. Wilstrup:
"Ian Jackson" (Email Removed) skrev i meddelelsen
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