I need advise on simplifying a sentence.

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#14567 Mon, 01 Dec 03 04:24 PM

I hope my future life will turn out as it is envisaged. Hence, I will work hard for a bright future ahead.

Does the sentence above make itself clear? Please help correct it if there's any mistakes...Thanks again, teachers!

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Joined on Sun, Oct 5 2003

Junior Member (53)

krmjr

#14573 Mon, 01 Dec 03 07:06 PM

Better would be:

"I hope my life will turn out as I envisage it. Hence, I will work hard for a bright future."

In the original form, it is unclear who is doing the envisaging. Also, "future" in the first sentence and "ahead" in the second are redundant.

krmjr

Joined on Sat, Nov 29 2003

New Member (26)

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#14605 Tue, 02 Dec 03 06:33 AM

Thanks for the advice, Krmir! ^o^

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