Hi,

I've made some changes, so read carefully. I think you have done an outstanding job of writing in this particular kind of style.

Enjoy your game, Clive

In that time many grew weary of the world, but the fire of life still burns strong in Gilmoriel, for she has seen the stars, just when the bruises and harm done to Elves in the Battle of Dagorlad started to settle down. Averse to being whirled along with unbridled temper and fearing for the regrets to come, she curbs herself at a moment of rage, holding her deeds back in hope to be restrained from folly. When not a prey to conceit, she keeps her heart open to the words of wisdom, yet her every judgment is of her own and she adheres to these closely.

Beauty of life, art and all things handcrafted holds Gilmoriel in great honour, having the equal esteem for the delights of lore. No teacher would be loath to have an apprentice as eager and keen; but when endowed with knowledge of her own, she is quick to lose patience and stern to those who fail her expectations. Yet the habit of disdaining slowness of mind is far overshadowed by the fret and shame that possess Gilmoriel whenever she takes the smallest wrong step, for she demands much, yet the most, from herself. And lenient is she to Man, for his age is short and withering swift,. Still many long for secrets of earth and water, fire and air, herbs and beasts, and the strivings of these are to well emboldened.

Disdaining the witless, Gilmoriel has even less concern for those callous of heart, whereas those who praise lore and joy of creation are amidst her dearest friends. Unwilling to take life and abhorring destruction, she puts her trust in the might of words, using the slightest chance to call for the vestige of light still abiding within foes, and resorts to her skills but for defense, unless seized by wrath or seeing her allies in peril. No love for violent deeds has Gilmoriel, and yet may be called ruthless by some stung with darts of her arrogant scorns.

Seldom indeed are her features placid, and mostly remind they of a restive sea. Splendour of storm pleases her more than calm and tranquility, as she feels akin to the tempest, and rhymes of tragedy enchant her beyond any songs of bliss. Few hear her voice blending with a melody or chorus, yet Gilmoriel longs for dance and any of hers is accompanied by muted chime of silver bells. So great is the delight she takes in beauty, a sight of grace and splendour may lure her away in the realm of reveries, and bleeding wounds of Arda torment her as those of her own.

Hi again,

but when endowed with knowledge of her own...
This was intended to mean "when sharing with knowledge of her own", i.e. "teaching someone". Don't I need an active participle instead of a passive one here? Yes. I misunderstood your meaning. Say 'But when endowing  others with her knowledge . . .'.

And lenient is she to Man
How absent-minded of me! Of course, it should be "to Men". Not necessarily. When the bible says 'God created man', the singular represents the whole race of men. This is particularly so when you spell it with a capital letter. It also gives your writing a bit of an epic character, which is what I think you want here.

I tend to make silly mistakes. No, you don't.

Best wishes, Clive