ancestry

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Pter  #500481  Mon, 14 Apr 08 09:27 AM
If Europeans or Americans travel to Asia, do you think they would be offended if an Asian ask them their origins?  Asians may find it difficult to tell the nationality or ethnicity of Europeans/Americans just from the look.  I think this may be true the other way round.  Many Europeans/Americans can't tell if an Asian is Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc.  Sometimes, we may want to know from which country our European/American friends come from.  For example, I sometimes meet people from the US for business.  When I got their name cards, some of them have names that quite obviously originated from certain countries say Eastern Europe, Italy or France.  I sometimes may make a casual remark or ask him/her whether he/she is from the country that I guessed (although he/she is now in US).  Would this be considered offensive?  What is the more polite way of asking without offending our European/American friends?
  
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Grammar Geek  #500535  Mon, 14 Apr 08 01:31 PM

Some people are very proud to tell you that their grandparent immigrated from Poland, or their great-grandfather brought th family over from Italy, etc., but I would not bring it up.

If you wanted to, you could say something like "I think I would have difficulty pronouncing this name if I hadn't met you first" -- with a smile -- and if the person wants to, he can then say something like "Oh yes, those Polish names can be tricky" or "Yes, these Italian names cause difficulty at home too. But again, if this were a business meeting, I would not do that.

  
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Pter  #500598  Mon, 14 Apr 08 03:45 PM
 Thanks GG.  I didn't know ethnicity is such a sensitive issue for Americans and Europeans.  I'll bear that in mind in future.
  
nona the brit  #500802  Mon, 14 Apr 08 11:41 PM

I'd also find it a bit odd to ask this in a business situation. If you were in a friendly informal conversation it might be a bit different. However - generally speaking we only ask about people's background if they have an accent that is obviously 'foreign'. Then you can say something like 'so where are you from originally?'. If they have the local accent then it would be a bit insensitive to start questioning their heritage. After all, in Europe (especially in the UK) we are so mixed up that you could easily have someone with a 'foreign' surname who has no idea why - it could have been an ancestor hundreds of years ago. If someone has a 'foreign' name for both their First (given) name AND their surname then you can probably assume their parents come from that country, and it's not such a big deal to make an informal enquiry - but I still wouldn't raise it in business.

With regards to people who look mixed race, no, it is rather inpolite to ask unless you get into the sort of informal conversation where it is natural to talk about our backgrounds - but I wouldn't single someone out. I do know a few mixed race people and some of them I know about their background, and others I don't. Somehow sometimes it just comes up naturally - usually they start the subject off. For example, I found out that one mixed race girl had a Trinidadian father when she started talking about a trip back there to meet some of her family. We then had a good chat about her trip and her family. But I wouldn't have asked 'where are your parents from?' just out of the blue. To us it sort of suggests that you feel they don't fully belong here.

We also don't really approve of asking strangers personal questions on any topic, not just race.

  
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Pter  #501062  Tue, 15 Apr 08 03:15 PM
Thank you very much, nona. What you said has enlightened me. Learning about this is very important for someone like me with a different cultural background. Perhaps, it is the histories that make such differences.
  
nona the brit  #501099  Tue, 15 Apr 08 06:51 PM

Maybe. Each culture has its own 'taboo' topics.

ooh - don't ever ask Europeans too much detail about money either - how much they earn etc!

  
Pter  #501238  Wed, 16 Apr 08 03:30 AM
nona the brit
ooh - don't ever ask Europeans too much detail about money either - how much they earn etc!

Oh, I think this is common for all culture! 

  
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