Can anyone check this paragraph

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Tanglish  #331269  Tue, 20 Feb 07 07:15 AM

Hi!!

 Can anyone pls check this paragraph for mistakes....Its a topic for my assignment.

My first Snorkeling Experience

My first snorkeling was one of the most exhilarating and thrilling experiences in my life. Myself and my boyfriend went to snorkeling at Molokani on Maui island in Hawaii. We started early in the morning and joined with a group of people in a small ferry. The ferry captain explained us about the rules of snorkeling and also demonstrated about using the snorkeling kit. After an hour ride, the captain stopped the ferry behind the horse-shoe shaped Molokani island. He supplied me a pair of fins and a mask. After I worn those, I dived into the water. At first I could not breath properly and swim with the mask and the fins, but I got used to it after sometime. Then I went little bit deeper where I saw lot of colorful fishes, turtle and beautiful corals. I saw a whole new world inside the ocean. But when I stepped on the corals I got hurt. I captured lot of pictures using a water proof camera. We did snorkeling about an hour and returned back to the ferry. I was so excited like I achieved something great. Snorkeling is a wonderful experience everybody should try at least once in their life time.

Thanks in advance...

  
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Lil' Ruby Rose  #331291  Tue, 20 Feb 07 09:03 AM
 

My first Snorkeling Experience

My first time snorkeling was one of the most exhilarating and thrilling experiences in my life. Myself and my boyfriend went to snorkeling at Molokani on Maui island in Hawaii. We started early in the morning and joined with a group of people in a small ferry. The ferry captain explained  about the rules of snorkelin to us and also demonstrated about using the snorkeling kit. After an hour's ride, the captain stopped the ferry behind the horse-shoe shaped Molokani island. He supplied me with a pair of fins (flippers?) and a mask. After I worn those, I dived into the water. At first I could not breath properly and swim with the mask and the fins, but I got used to it after sometime. Then I went little bit deeper where I saw lot of colorful fishes, turtles and beautiful corals. I saw a whole new world inside the ocean. But when I stepped on the corals I got hurt. I captured lot of pictures using a waterproof camera. We did snorkeling for about an hour and returned back to the ferry. I was so excited like I had achieved something great. Snorkeling is a wonderful experience everybody should try at least once in their lifetime.

Thanks in advance...

Some corrections in pink, and some things for you to look at again highlighted.

  
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Tanglish  #331429  Tue, 20 Feb 07 05:44 PM

Hi!!!

 Thanks for your correction. But I have a question... How to say "myself and my boyfriend" in correct sentence? Pls help me....

  
Lil' Ruby Rose  #331437  Tue, 20 Feb 07 06:08 PM
My boyfriend and I went...
  
Tanglish  #331531  Tue, 20 Feb 07 11:03 PM
thanks a lot....
  
Tanglish  #331533  Tue, 20 Feb 07 11:13 PM

   Hi!! I made some modification in this paragraph.. pls can you check this one??? thanks...                                                        

                                                               My first Snorkeling Experience

My first time snorkeling was one of the most exhilarating and thrilling experiences in my life. My boyfriend and I went snorkeling at Molokini Crator on Maui island in Hawaii. Molokini is the one of the most popular spots for a snorkeling in Maui Island. We started early in the morning and joined a group of people in a boat with two professional crew. The crew explained the rules of snorkeling to us and also demonstrated using the snorkel equipment. It was a little over an hour ride from the Harbor to the carter, so it gave everyone time to eat breakfast and hear the instructions that we needed from the crew. Once we reached the carter, the captain stopped the boat behind the horse-shoe shaped Molokani island. He provided me with a pair of fins and a mask. After I wore those, I dived into the water. The water was very clear and chill. At first I could not breathe properly and swim with the mask and the fins, but I got used to it after some practice. After I got comfortable, I went little bit deeper where I saw lot of fishes, turtles and beautiful corals. The fish were very colorful and we were able to take some great underwater pictures with a waterproof camera. I saw a new world at inside the ocean. When I stepped on the corals I got little hurt. We did snorkeling for about an hour and returned to the boat. I was so excited like I had achieved something great. Snorkeling is a wonderful experience everybody should try at least once in their lifetime.

  
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