[title]Family quotes[/title] [description]Welcome to our family quotes section! Here you'll find some of the funniest (and wisest) quotes on the subject of family life![/description]
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Mister Nutty  +  473821 Thu, 07 Feb 08 10:59 AM

Dear Yankee, thanks for your kind suggestions, too. I am very thankful to both of you for helping me. Thank you very much indeed.

 Yankee wrote:
Hi Mr Nutty

Here is a suggestion for improvement.  Rather than simply looking for grammar errors, I've done some rewording:

EDIT:
I see that Mister Micawber has also now replied.  I like his suggestions too, and agree with his suggestion that you include your educational records.
____________________________________________________________________________________________

(My Address)

Apartment Name

Area Name

City Name

Date

(Recipient's address)

Dean of Admissions [I am aksed to directly address the principal, so can I write "the principal" here?]

University Name

Area Name

City Name

Dear (Name), [I know his name. Can I say "Dear Sir"?]

Having completed my pre-engineering coursework [Can I also say "H.S.C. in pre-engineering"?] , I would now like to pursue a degree in B.E. (telecom.) at your esteemed. university. From the time I was in elementary school, I have been interested in telecommunications, and more recently, I have narrowed my goal to becoming an engineer in telecommunications.

It has also long been my dream to study at your university, but financially I am only in a position to cover, at most, about half of the costs.  Therefore, I would like to ask what forms of financial assistance are available. [In my country, there are usually no fees assisstance forms. They directly assist. So, can I say "Therefore, I would like to request financial assistance." or "Therefore, I would like to inquire into the possibility of obtaining an assisted place."?]

Thank you very much for your time and assistance.

Sincerely, [Sir, as I just mentioned I don't know the name of the principal, should I still write "sincerely", or do I now need to use "faithfully"?]

My Signature

My name

Joined on Sat, Jan 19 2008
New Member 19
Mister Micawber  +  473864 Thu, 07 Feb 08 12:41 PM

Dean, College of ****(or) Chairman, Department of ****  Sorry, but, Sir, I've been asked to directly address the principal. Will it be wrong to do so? -- Universities in my country do not have principals; principals are heads of primary and secondary schools.

Dear Dr [Dean's/Chairman's surname]: I don't know his name. Will it be wrong to say "Dear Sir"?-- Only if you  cannot manage to learn his/her name.

I have completed my intermediation (diplomacertificate?) [thank you again, Sir. Yes, it's a certificate. Can I say "H.S.C."?] -- it would be better to spell it out in full:  High School Certificate (?)

 in pre-engineering, and would like to pursue a BE (Telecommunications) degree at ABC  University. [Do I have to use the university name here. I am confused a bit. When I have already mentioned it above in the address section, do I again need to mention it here?]-- Yes, use it again.  'Highly estimable' is simply fawning.

I have always been interested in telecommunications, and more recently I have narrowed my goal to becoming a telecommunications engineer.  Enclosed/attached are my educational records. [I've already provided them with all the necesarry documents and records.] -- Then mention that fact here.

Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you advise me of any financial assistance available? [They have already given me a concession of 50% with the grace of God, but they have still asked me to write an application letter for it as a red tape. I know for a fact that bluntly mentioning the desired concession is rude. Therefore, can I say "Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you please offer me some financial concession?"] -- 'Concession' is not a word I am familiar with in this context, but yes, use your sentence if it has been pre-arranged.

Sincerely yours, [As I have told above, I don't know his name. Do I still need to use "sincerely yours", or should I use "faithfully yours" now?]-- Yes, to be safe, use 'Faithfully yours', though few are aware of this fine point nowadays.

Joined on Wed, Aug 4 2004
Yokohama
Veteran Member 30,825
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master-- that's all.'
Yoong Liat  +  474005 Thu, 07 Feb 08 07:29 PM
One minor point: In BrE it is Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully.
Joined on Mon, Sep 4 2006
Veteran Member 6,757
Anonymous, 219 days ago
Plz I want that if you can give me an example of an application from a father to a principal of a school where his son is studying for fee concession
Grammar Geek  +  699438 Mon, 20 Apr 09 01:47 PM
Anonymous
“Plz I want that if you can give me an example of an application from a father to a principal of a school where his son is studying for fee concession

 

 

Plz read the thread and you'll see one.

 

Joined on Tue, Jan 10 2006
Veteran Member 19,683
Barbara, who answers in American English. My housekeeping skills attest to the truth of the second law of thermodynamics: Left to themselves, things get more and more random!
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