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This is a discussion thread.
Latest post Mon, Apr 20 2009 1:47 PM by Grammar Geek. 13 replies.
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Mister Nutty
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473112
Tue, 05 Feb 08 07:42 PM
Hi,
Can someone plz tell me how to write a fee concession/assisstance application letter? It'll be better, if you give me some samples, too.
Thank you
Joined on
Sat, Jan 19 2008
New Member
19
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Clive
+
473158
Tue, 05 Feb 08 09:24 PM
Hi,
The best thing is if you begin yourself by writing what you would say if you were talking face to face with the person responsible. Then we can offer you comments to improve your writing.
After all, only you know why you think you should receive assistance.
Clive
Joined on
Thu, Oct 28 2004
Canada
Veteran Member
29,605
El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo
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Mister Nutty
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473401
Wed, 06 Feb 08 12:13 PM
Hi again,
Will someone please take a look at the following letter for any grammar mistakes?
Thank you
_____________________________________________________________________
(My Address)
Apartment Name
Area Name
City Name
Date
(Recipient's address)
The principal
University Name
Area Name
City Name
Dear Sir,
This is to state that I have completed my intermediation in pre-engineering, and now I want to pursue a degree in B.E. (telecom.) at your highly estimable university. Literally, since I was in elementary school I have been interested in telecommunication, and more recently, I have narrowed my goal to become a telecommunication engineer. It has always been my and mother’s wish that I study at your university, but financially I am not strong enough to afford such a massive amount of fees.
Thereby, I request you to assist me by giving me a concession of 50% at least.
Meanwhile, thank you and I assure you of my sincere and continuing efforts.
Great regards,
My Signature
My name
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Mister Nutty,
1 yr 290 days ago
Now, could someone please have a look at the letter for mistakes?
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Best answer by
Mister Micawber
+
473797
Thu, 07 Feb 08 09:45 AM
I'm here, Mr Nutty.
Full return mailing address
Date
Dean, College of ****
(or)
Chairman, Department of ****
University Name
Full mailing address
Dear Dr [Dean's/Chairman's surname]:
I
have completed my intermediation (diploma? certificate?) in pre-engineering, and would like to
pursue a BE (Telecommunications) degree at ABC University.
I have always been interested in
telecommunications, and more recently I have narrowed my goal to becoming
a telecommunications engineer. Enclosed/attached are my educational records.
Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you advise me of any financial assistance available? Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Signature
Name
Joined on
Wed, Aug 4 2004
Yokohama
Veteran Member
30,788
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master-- that's all.'
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Best answer by
Yankee
+
473800
Thu, 07 Feb 08 09:56 AM
Hi Mr Nutty
Here is a suggestion for improvement. Rather than simply looking for grammar errors, I've done some rewording:
EDIT:
I see that Mister Micawber has also now replied. I like his suggestions too, and agree with his suggestion that you include your educational records.
____________________________________________________________________________________________ (My Address)
Apartment Name
Area Name
City Name
Date
(Recipient's address)
Dean of Admissions
University Name
Area Name
City Name
Dear (Name),
Having completed my pre-engineering coursework, I would now like to pursue a degree in B.E. (telecom.) at your esteemed. university. From the time I was in elementary school, I have been interested in telecommunications, and more recently, I have narrowed my goal to becoming an engineer in telecommunications.
It has also long been my dream to study at your university, but financially I am only in a position to cover, at most, about half of the costs. Therefore, I would like to ask what forms of financial assistance are available.
Thank you very much for your time and assistance.
Sincerely,
My Signature
My name
Joined on
Sat, Apr 15 2006
Connecticut, USA
Veteran Member
6,498
Amy "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain
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Mister Nutty
+
473812
Thu, 07 Feb 08 10:41 AM
So, finally I got help. Thank you very much, Mister Micawber.![Smile [:)]](/emoticons/emotion-1.gif)
Full return mailing address Okay, as you say Sir.
Date Okay, as you say Sir.
Dean, College of **** Sorry, but, Sir, I've been asked to directly address the principal. Will it be wrong to do so?
(or)
Chairman, Department of ****
University Name
Full mailing address
Dear Dr [Dean's/Chairman's surname]: I don't know his name. Will it be wrong to say "Dear Sir"?
I have completed my intermediation (diploma? certificate?) [thank you again, Sir. Yes, it's a certificate. Can I say "H.S.C."?] in pre-engineering, and would like to pursue a BE (Telecommunications) degree at ABC [Do I have to use the university name here. I am confused a bit. When I have already mentioned it above in the address section, do I again need to mention it here?] University. I have always been interested in telecommunications, and more recently I have narrowed my goal to becoming a telecommunications engineer. Enclosed/attached are my educational records. [I've already provided them with all the necesarry documents and records.]
Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you advise me of any financial assistance available? [They have already given me a concession of 50% with the grace of God, but they have still asked me to write an application letter for it as a red tape. I know for a fact that bluntly mentioning the desired concession is rude. Therefore, can I say "Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you please offer me some financial concession?"]
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely yours, [As I have told above, I don't know his name. Do I still need to use "sincerely yours", or should I use "faithfully yours" now?]
Signature
Name
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