One of my friends requested me to correct his application letter. Please find his letter below. I have amended it myself which is next to his letter. We would be grateful if you could comment and do necessary correction in my draft. Many thanks in advance.
MK
My friend letter:
Dear ...,
In response to your advertisement for the post of <<Manager>>, which appeared in "Kantipur" dated August 6, 2009. I would like to submit my application for the mentioned post.
As we know that how a Japanese people are care their customer. I have done work at high standard Japanese Cuisine where I have learn so many things about Customer Care which I can used at here. I have done work as a storekeeper too so it is easy to numerate and manage the accounts, recording and presenting all expenditure accurately.
To support Nepalese artist, I have done so many programmed as a Coordinator and volunteer. Ram Krishna Dhakal Night in Tokyo is my first coordinator program which was very successful. Except that Count down Party, Teej Party, Dashain Party, Tihar Party etc. And in Nepal, I have done Diploma in Secretarial Management Course in The New Era Career Development Institute, Kathmandu, so I have strong desire to place my training to practical use on serving at your organizations at a relevant post. I would be very appreciating if you give me an opportunity for employment. I assure you of my efficiency, honesty and I will carry out my duties to the best of my ability. I have enclosed my Bio-data for your reference.
I hope for a favorable reply from you.
Thanking you for a kindly consideration.
Yours faithfully,
I corrected below:
I am writing in response to your advertisement dated 6 August 2009 for the post of <<manager>>. I have pleasure in submitting my detailed curriculum vitae for your consideration.
I have reviewed the list of responsibilities and required qualifications as prescribed on the job description and confirm that I consider myself capable of carrying out the assignment.
I worked for Kappo Suisen (Japanese Cuisine) in Japan from August 1995 to February 2007 in the capacity of Customer Service Manager and Store Keeper. I was responsible for the overall customer care including store keeping and managing accounts. In addition to the above, I organized some successful programs during my stay in Japan i.e. Ram Krishna Dhakal Night, Countdown Party, Teej Party, Dashain Party, Tihar Party etc.
The responsibilities as outlined on the job description for the post look very much the same that I performed in Japan. And I have recently completed Diploma in Secretarial Management Course in The New Era Career Development Institute, Kathmandu. I assure you of my efficiency, honesty and I will carry out my duties to the best of my ability. I am therefore very interested in the position you wish to fill and serving the relevant post.
I would like you to know that I am available for an interview between Monday and Friday at the address given the top of this letter.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Years faithfully,