Argumentative essay 'Against Cosmetic Surgery'

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Anonymous:
Could someone please help me with this argumentative essay? I have to write an argumentative essay against cosmetic surgery. Could someone please look if there are mistakes (grammar mistakes, vocabulary mistakes, logical mistakes), if the text is well-structured, if everything in the text is formal? (if there are informal words, expressions in it I will not get a pass mark)

Cosmetic surgery: the magic potion?

Cosmetic surgery: the magic potion?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Unfortunately, science has achieved so far to try to meet our society's unhealthy level of ‘perfect body'. Cosmetic surgery: the hype of the moment. But is it the magic potion? Certainly not.

To begin with, there is no point in cutting into a healthy body. How small the operation might be, for example cosmetic nose surgery, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of all cases, the patient has to recover from the damage he experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, less serious risks may not be concealed: chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, ... In any case, cosmetic surgery is far from pain free.

And what is more: a number of surgeries have already failed. ‘The magic potion' caused a many people to die because of operations that were far from needed. To take one example: the 36-year old housewife Lorraine Batt, mother of three young children, came to an untimely death as the result of surgery that would make her belly more pretty to look at. Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to move into a less appearance-focused one.

In addition, the long-term consequences are often not taken into account. In fact, it is useless to go through a facelift. That is to say: the only thing such a cosmetic surgery does, is to make you younger for a few years. Life goes on and afterwards, the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Silicones implants have to be replaced within fifteen years. That seems to be a long time, but the fact that this implies a new surgery, is often forgotten.

Moreover, is it morally right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. Of course some do more resemble (twins and look-alikes), but nobody feels quite the same as you do. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, take for instance Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will also lack. This goes hand in hand, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. Some youngster see plastic surgery as a quick fix for their physical, and their emotional problems. On the contrary, cosmetic surgery cannot produce miracles, and if teenagers keep thinking in that way, our society is facing an unhealthy future. Cosmetic surgery should not be the option, and it can definitely not be taken lightly. It will change the patient's life, and in ways they may not have expected, which is shown in the paragraphs above.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, it turns out that cosmetic surgery is not at all that advantageous. That is why the ideal body image has to be thrown away, and has to be replaced by the idea that everyone is special human being, with his/her shortcomings.
Highlighted a few things for you to fix.
Inka
Could someone please look if there are mistakes (grammar mistakes, vocabulary mistakes, logical mistakes), if the text is well-structured, if everything in the text is formal? (if there are informal words, expressions in it I will not get a pass mark)

Cosmetic surgery: the magic potion?

Cosmetic surgery: the magic potion?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Unfortunately, science has achieved so far to try to meet our society's unhealthy level of ‘perfect body'. (rephrase and be specific) Cosmetic surgery: the hype of the moment (inappropriate wording). But is it the magic potion (odd to compare surgeries to something you can drink)? Certainly not.

To begin with, there is no point in cutting into a healthy body. How small the operation might be, for example cosmetic nose surgery, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of all cases of surgical operations, the patient has to recover from the damage he experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, less serious risks may not be concealed: chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, ... In any case, cosmetic surgery is far from pain free.

And what is more: a number of surgeries have already failed. ‘The magic potion' caused a many people to die because of operations that were far from needed. To take one example: the 36-year old housewife, Lorraine Batt, mother of three young children, came to an untimely death as the result of surgery that would make her belly more pretty to look at (You need to elaborate). Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to move into a less appearance-focused one.

In addition, the long-term consequences are often not taken into account. In fact, it is useless to go through a facelift. That is to say: the only thing such a The cosmetic surgery does, is to may make you look younger for a few years, but life goes on and afterwards, the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Silicones implants have to be replaced within fifteen years. That seems to be a long time, but the fact that this implies a new surgery, is often forgotten.

Moreover, is it morally right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. Of course some do more resemble (twins and look-alikes), but nobody feels quite the same as you do. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, take for instance Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will also lack. This goes hand in hand, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. Some youngster see plastic surgery as a quick fix for their physical, and their emotional problems. On the contrary, cosmetic surgery cannot produce miracles, and if teenagers keep thinking in that way, our society is facing an unhealthy future. Cosmetic surgery should not be the option, and it can definitely not be taken lightly. It will change the patient's life, and in ways they may not have expected, which is shown in the paragraphs above.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, it turns out that cosmetic surgery is not at all that advantageous. That is why the ideal body image has to be thrown away, and has to be replaced by the idea that everyone is a special human being, with his/her shortcomings.

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Anonymous:
Thanks, Julielai
Anonymous:
Cosmetic surgery: a miracle worker?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and another 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Only considered the face! Unfortunately, science has achieved so far that it is able to provide us with the perfect body image. Cosmetic surgery: the current hype. But is it the universal remedy? Certainly not.

To begin with: however small the operation might be, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of surgical operations, the patient has to recover from the damage experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, less serious ones should not be neglected: chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, ... In any case, cosmetic surgery is far from pain free.

And what is more: a rather large number of surgeries have already failed. That is to say: the ‘miracle worker' caused many people to die because of operations that were far from needed. There is no point in transforming a healthy body. Take for instance the 36-year old housewife, Lorraine Batt, mother of three young children, who came to an untimely death as the result of surgery that would make her belly ‘prettier to look at'. Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to move into a less appearance-focused one.

In addition, the long-term consequences are often not taken into account. In fact, it is useless to go through a facelift. The cosmetic surgery does may make you younger for a few years, but life goes on and the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Moreover, silicone implants have to be replaced within fifteen years, which seems to be a long time. Yet the fact that this implies a new surgery is often forgotten.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. Some youngsters see such an operation as a quick fix for their physical and their emotional problems. Still, cosmetic surgery cannot produce miracles, and if teenagers keep thinking that way, our society is facing an unhealthy future. Cosmetic surgery should not be the option, and it should definitely not be taken lightly. It will change the patient's life, in ways he may not have expected.

Furthermore, is it right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, which was, for example, the case with Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will too. Consequently, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, cosmetic surgery is not all that advantageous. That is why the idea of the perfect body image has to be thrown away, and it has to be recognized that everyone is a special human being.
Anonymous:
I have tried to correct the mistakes you underlined, and have changed some other things. Could you please look if everything is correct? (I really do not know how I can rephraze the sentence I underlined in the introduction paragraph)

Cosmetic surgery: a miracle worker?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and another 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Only considered the face! Unfortunately, science has achieved so far that it is able to provide us with the perfect body image. Cosmetic surgery: the current hype. But is it the universal remedy? Certainly not.

To begin with: however small the operation might be, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of surgical operations, the patient has to recover from the damage experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, less serious ones should not be neglected: chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, ... In any case, cosmetic surgery is far from pain free.

And what is more: a rather large number of surgeries have already failed. That is to say: the ‘miracle worker' caused many people to die because of operations that were far from needed. There is no point in transforming a healthy body. Take for instance the 36-year old housewife, Lorraine Batt, mother of three young children, who came to an untimely death as the result of surgery that would make her belly ‘prettier to look at'. Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to move into a less appearance-focused one.

In addition, the long-term consequences are often not taken into account. In fact, it is useless to go through a facelift. The cosmetic surgery does may make you younger for a few years, but life goes on and the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Moreover, silicone implants have to be replaced within fifteen years, which seems to be a long time. Yet the fact that this implies a new surgery is often forgotten.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. Some youngsters see such an operation as a quick fix for their physical and their emotional problems. Still, cosmetic surgery cannot produce miracles, and if teenagers keep thinking that way, our society is facing an unhealthy future. Cosmetic surgery should not be the option, and it should definitely not be taken lightly. It will change the patient's life, in ways he may not have expected.

Furthermore, is it right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, which was, for example, the case with Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will too. Consequently, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, cosmetic surgery is not all that advantageous. That is why the idea of the perfect body image has to be thrown away, and it has to be recognized that everyone is a special human being.
Inka
Cosmetic surgery: a miracle worker?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and another 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Only considered the face! Unfortunately, science has achieved so far that it is able (rephrase and mention cosmetic surgery here) to provide us with the perfect body image. Cosmetic surgery: the current hype. But is it the universal remedy? Certainly not.

To begin with:, however small the operation might be, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of surgical operations, the patient has to recover from the damage experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, less serious ones should not be neglected: chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, ... (Your point about death should be in this paragraph) In any case, cosmetic surgery is far from pain free.

And what is more:, a rather large number of surgeries have already failed. That is to say: the ‘miracle worker' caused many people to die because of operations that were far from needed.(This is related to your last point so I don't see how you can make a new argument for this.) There is no point in transforming a healthy body. (save that for your conclusion) Take for instance the 36-year old housewife, Lorraine Batt for instance. mother of three young children, who (Details please) came to an untimely death as the result of surgery that would make her belly ‘prettier to look at'. Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to move into a less appearance-focused one.

In addition, the long-term consequences are often not taken into account. the effects of the surgery will not last. In fact, it is useless to go through a facelift. The cosmetic surgery does may make you younger for a few years, but life goes on and the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Moreover, silicone implants have to be replaced within fifteen years, which seems to be a long time. Yet the fact that this implies a new surgery is often forgotten.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. Some youngsters see such an operation as a quick fix for their physical and their emotional problems. Still, cosmetic surgery cannot produce miracles, and if teenagers keep thinking that way, our society is facing an unhealthy future. Cosmetic surgery should not be the option, and it should definitely not be taken lightly. It will change the patient's life, in ways he may not have expected. (What is your point?)

Furthermore, is it right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, which was, for example, the case with Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will suffer too. Consequently, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, cosmetic surgery is not all that advantageous. That is why the idea of the perfect body image has to be thrown away (wording), and it has to be recognized that everyone is a special human being.

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Anonymous:
Anonymous:
I tried to improve the things you indicated. I tried to change the paragraph beginning with 'a common ground' into another argument. Indeed, that paragraph made no sense. Did you mean that I had to combine paragraph 2 and 3? (the point about death) Isn't the second paragraph too long now? Now that I am changing and trying to rewrite parts of the text, I have to admit that it is really difficult to write an argumentative essay. It is very difficult to put ideas into words and to present it in a logical way, so that it is understandable for others. Could you please once correct my text?

Cosmetic surgery: a miracle worker?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and another 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Unfortunately, with the help of cosmetic surgery, society tries to meet the perfect body image. But is it the universal remedy? Certainly not.

To begin with, however small the operation might be, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of surgical operations, the patient has to recover from the damage experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, less serious ones should not be neglected: chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, ... In any case, cosmetic surgery is far from pain free. And what is more, a rather large number of surgeries have already failed. That is to say: the ‘miracle worker' caused many people to die because of operations that were far from needed. Take the 36-year old housewife, Lorraine Batt, for instance. As a result of a surgery which was attempt to remove a scar caused by a caesarean section, she came to an untimely death. Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to be less appearance-focused.

In addition, effects of surgery will not last. The cosmetic surgery may make you younger for a few years, but life goes on and the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Moreover, silicone implants have to be replaced within fifteen years. Yet the fact that this implies a new surgery is often forgotten.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. There are, however, costs to such modifications. The notion that millions of pounds are spent on cosmetic surgery, while millions of people in developing countries need that money, is objectionable. Is it impossible in our modern world to realize this ‘technical innovation' is in fact another example of our western selfishness and self-love?

Furthermore, is it right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, which was, for example, the case with Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will suffer too. Consequently, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, cosmetic surgery is not all that advantageous and in most of all cases, it is not needed. There is no point in transforming a healthy body. That is why the idea of the perfect body image has to be forgotten, and it has to be recognized that everyone is a special human being.
I suggest taking out the fourth paragraph all together. But make sure your essay is long enough for your assignment. Perhaps elaborating a bit more on the deaths?

Cosmetic surgery: a miracle worker?

A study by Psychology Today magazine shows that many people are not satisfied with their looks: 60,000,000 do not like their noses; 30,000,000 do not like their chins; 6,000,000 do not like their ears and another 6,000,000 do not like their eyes. Unfortunately, with the help of cosmetic surgery, society tries (people, not society?) to meet the perfect body image. But is it the universal remedy? Certainly not.

To begin with, however small the operation might be, there is always a chance something goes wrong. The numbers are very alarming: in 20% of surgical operations, the patient has to recover from the damage experienced. Although serious risks such as blindness and heavy lung problems are rather rare, (This kind of contradicts the the deaths you mention later) less serious ones should not be neglected: Typical side effects include chronic pain, allergic reaction, delayed or prolonged healing, not to mention the pain the patient will feel after the operation. But the real risk lies in the possiblitity that the surgery may fail. rather large number of surgeries have already failed. That is to say: the ‘miracle worker' caused many people to die because of operations that were far from needed. Take the 36-year old housewife, Lorraine Batt, for instance. As a result of a surgery which was attempt to remove a scar caused by a caesarean section, she came to an untimely death. Such tragic events are a strong warning that our society has to be less appearance-focused.

In addition, effects of surgery will not last. The cosmetic surgery may make you younger for a few years, but life goes on and the wrinkles come back. It is as unnatural to try to possess eternal youth, as it is to oppose the ageing process. Moreover, silicone implants have to be replaced within fifteen years. Yet the fact that this implies a new surgery is often forgotten.

A common ground to go through this procedure is to make oneself more confident, comfortable and stronger than others. There are, however, costs to such modifications. The notion that millions of pounds are spent on cosmetic surgery, while millions of people in developing countries need that money, is objectionable. Is it impossible in our modern world to realize this ‘technical innovation' is in fact another example of our western selfishness and self-love?

Furthermore, is it right to change the body you are given and transform it into ‘something' you are not? Every single person is unique and that is what makes life so special. The outside appearance is the representation of the inner-self. Therefore, drastically redesigning your looks causes strange effects, which was, for example, the case with Michael Jackson. If your personality is lacking, your appearance will suffer too. Consequently, cosmetic surgery does not make you a different person.

As wonderful as this piece of modern medical technology may sound, cosmetic surgery is not all that advantageous and in most of all cases, it is not needed. There is no point in transforming a healthy body. That is why the idea of the perfect body image has to be forgotten, and it has to be recognized that everyone is a special human being.
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