Hi everyone,
I am applying for admission to the Fashion Merchandising Management Program at Fashion Institute of Technology and need help with my essay.
Would someone please give me suggestions? I've been reading some of the essays posted here and already gathered some ideas. You will certainly recognize them 
SUNY autobiographical essay:
Flavia Aparecida Lima
Fashion Institute Technology
Admissions Essay
September 15, 2008
#1:
I am Flavia Lima from Brazil and I am applying for admission to the Fashion Merchandising Management Program at Fashion Institute of Technology. Despite the fact that Import/Export Business is my main experience, Fashion has been part of my life since I was a child and I have always dreamed of working in this industry. I am confident that now is the time to combine the two of them, and I envision FIT would be a pivotal part of my fashion learning and experience that would enable me to become a great professional. FIT, besides being a recognized institution, it gathers all what I need for my studies. The degrees at American universities are well recognized and accepted around the world, especially in Brazil where I plan to return after graduation. Other advantages of attending FIT are that I am closer to my friends who work in Boston, and my family is more easily able to visit me here.
#2:
I am a hard-working and goal-oriented person and have set a few important goals for my new career. To attend a prestigious school like FIT – it will provide me with the necessary knowledge and experience. To get an internship with a recognized fashion designer or company, such as Marc Jacobs, Oscar de la Renta, J. Crew, Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus – it will improve further merchandising knowledge which would lead me to a great job. I would consider working wherever the great possibilities are.
#3:
My strengths include my ability to work in projects, creativity, intelligence, organization, ambition, attentiveness, good manners, and a positive outlook on life.
My present weakness is that I lack merchandising skills. I look forward to bolstering this skill at FIT. I will strive to surpass any expectations and contribute greatly to this Institute and the Fashion industry.
#4:
I am graduated with a degree in Business Administration and International Trade (Do I need to go further? If so, what could I say about it? Should I mention my curriculum?)
#5:
All of my working experiences were related to Import and Export. I have worked mainly for engineering companies where I could put in practice everything I learned in college. My previous job at a Bonded Warehouse I could experience a new prospective of the Import/Export transactions. As a Customer Service Supervisor, I supervised three departments which were Billing, Collecting and After Sales. At the same company I took part in a VMI project (Vendor Managed Inventory) which enabled me to develop my negotiation, analytical and strategy skills. Working on this project, I negotiated with people from diverse part of the world such as the United States, Germany, India, the Netherlands, China, Mexico and it enriched me with logistics and culture knowledge.
#6:
In my free time, I love traveling, going to the beach, shopping, going out with friends, playing with my dog, reading and doing research on the internet. Art gallery is an enjoyable place where I can spend endless hours.
#7:
Fashion Merchandising is the right vocation for me to pursue because I appreciate the fact that the business is constantly changing, creating new challenges and opportunities. Being able to get marketing message out to the customers, helping to marry the design vision with the financial goals, seeing an idea go from concept to actually fitting the retail stores and seeing it sell are among the abilities I want to improve by attending FIT.
Besides the fact that people constantly give me compliments on how I put my outfits together and turn to me when they are not certain what to wear, I believe it is very important to develop creative talent through disciplined study to direct that talent into a successful career.
I trust that you will find the information contained in my application to be satisfactory. I look forward to your acceptance and to continuing on my interesting journey where I continue to learn, develop, and grow. Thank you for your time and consideration.