"The phrase 'caught on camera' could
n't be more appropriate, as a lardy sweat-bucket of a bus driver shows
he has all the self control of Amy Whitehouse going out for a swift half.
"Watch as the dastardly kids torment the poor, responsible adult by getting up from their seats and shouting a bit. Oh, I hope they get what's coming to them from this brave hero.
"By the looks of things, the angry little man was going to test his new fighting techniques on that small, blond, ten-year-old girl there on the right. But the sound of truly naughty language makes him realize he should step up his game and take on a ten-year-old boy instead.
"Despite one of the kids' attempts to swing a punch back, the bus driver - at least two times bigger, three times older, and ten times more psychologically disturbed than the kid - is the winner. Well done him. His prize was a big, fat and well eared prison sentence."
He's speaking with a rather subdued South London accent. It's not that thick, Mr Tom. If you want to hear a thick South London accent, watch an episode of Eastenders. I'm not recommending the show, other than as a linguistic exercise.
For other examples of British dialects/accents, take a look at the comedy series Yes, Minister (for the Standard Form, with some regional variants), Last of the Summer Wine (for the Yorkshire dialect), and Still Game (for West Coast Scots).
MrPernickety, stress is often dictated by context. The stress-point of adult has been shifted to draw attention to that word in the sentence, emphasising the fact that it's an adult reacting this way to the kids' behaviour.
". . . shows he has all the self control of Amy Winehouse going out for a swift half."
The artiste Amy Winehouse is renowned for excessive drinking. (A swift half = a quick half pint of beer). It's a sarcastic way of saying that the bus driver has no self-control.
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