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Latest post Fri, Oct 23 2009 5:45 PM by learningwriting. 2 replies.
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learningwriting  +  944317 Fri, 16 Oct 09 04:08 PM
I am a Hongkonger. I am now trying to improve my English writing skill so I translate a Chinese news report into English.

 

Can anyone help me to correct my article so that I can make improvement? Thank you.謝 I will keep on writing more and until I can improve my English.

 

Here it is:

 

The government encourages changing the use of industrial buildings. The purpose of this is to promote the six big industries. However, most of the art organizations mainly resorted to the cheap rents of industrial buildings so that they can survive. They worried about after the activation of the industrial buildings, they can not be survived. Some organizations criticize the government does not plan carefully to help them. The help of the government may even make things worse.

 

Street drama show, Good Show, rents two flat from industrial buildings in Tai Kwok Tsui. Although there are no lifts and belongs to old tenement buildings, each flat has 3,000 square feets and the rents are $9,000. Good Show supervisor Yeung Ping Kei indicates that he rents the flats since 03. The high ceiling and spacious places are convenience for performing drama practices.

 

He also expressed that the government provides so many benefits for encouraging the convertion of industrial buildings cannot bring any benefits to drama organizationsbut create a good reason for landlords to increase the rents. He said, “The rent in here is not expensive because not many people rent here. However, when more drama organizations move in, the rent will be high.” He uses Fo Tan industrial areas as an example that a few hundreds square feet flat need a rent of two to three thousand. As more drama organizations moved in, the landlord raises the price.

 

Yeung said if the rent climbs up to thirty to forty thousand, drama organizations cannot be survived. He said, “it’s difficult for us to earn a living by performing art. It is impossible to give all money to the property company for rental.”

 

Joined on Fri, Oct 16 2009
New Member 04
Best answer by julielai  +  947128 Mon, 19 Oct 09 03:38 PM
Highlighted a few things you might want to rephrase/correct.

 

The government encourages changing (what do you mean/) the use of industrial buildings. The purpose of this is to promote the six big industries.  However, most of the art organizations mainly resorted to the cheap rents of industrial buildings so that they can to survive. They worried about after the activation of the industrial buildings, they can not be survived. Some organizations criticize the government does not plan carefully to help them. The help (Do they want help or not?) of the government may even make things worse.

 

Street drama show, Good Show, rents two flats from industrial buildings in Tai Kwok Tsui. Although there are no lifts and (what) belongs to old tenement buildings, each flat has 3,000 square feets and the monthly rent is $9,000. Good Show supervisor Yeung Ping Kei indicates that he rents the flats since 03. The high ceiling and spacious places are convenience for performing drama practices.

 

He also expressed that the government provides so many benefits for encouraging the convertion of industrial buildings cannot bring any benefits to drama organizationsbut create a good reason for landlords to increase the rents. (Not sure what you mean.) He said, “The rent in here is not expensive because not many people rent here. However, when more drama organizations move in, the rent will be high.” He uses Fo Tan industrial areas as an example. that a few hundreds square feet flat need a rent of two to three thousand. As more drama organizations moved in, the landlord raises the price.

 

Yeung said if the rent climbs up to thirty to forty thousand, drama organizations cannot be survived. He said, “it’s difficult for us to earn a living by performing art. It is impossible to give all money to the property company for rental.”

 

 

Joined on Sun, Oct 24 2004
Senior Member 3,827
Just another blogger (http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/julie-lai)
learningwriting  +  950792 Fri, 23 Oct 09 05:45 PM
Thank you, Julie. I will try to correct it
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