esj1011  +  74551 Thu, 17 Feb 05 08:03 AM your help will be deeply appreciated! Essay Has one experience changed your life in some way? Why? Have you ever heard the Korean saying "a frog in the well"? It describes a person who lives in a small world without knowing there is a larger world than her own. I was that little frog before I came to America through the cultural exchange program. Here in America, I have experienced that there are so many interesting, beautiful, precious cultures in the world. I thank God that I have been introduced to people from different cultures and backgrounds and for helping me to open my eyes. I think America is a beautiful country in which it has made it possible that we people from different cultures and life styles are living in harmony. I am happy that I have met those people who showed their interests in my culture, and I have done my best to help them to understand the unique part of Korean culture. esj1011 Joined on Thu, Feb 17 2005 New Member 11 Essays

	MrPedantic  +  74701 Thu, 17 Feb 05 10:53 PM Hello esj, welcome to English Forums! It looks good to me – I won't suggest corrections, as you'll probably prefer to think up your own alternatives; but these are the parts that aren't quite correct at the moment: Here in America, I have experienced that] 'experienced that' isn't really idiomatic. and for helping me to open my eyes. ] This is slightly awkward, as you followed 'thank God' with a 'that' clause, but here switch to 'for + gerund'. I think America is a beautiful country in which it has made it possible] Not quite idiomatic: the 'it' and 'in which' both refer back to 'America', which sounds awkward. Try rephrasing it. who showed their interests in my culture, ] slightly awkward. the unique part of Korean culture. ] This phrase doesn't quite work. Feel free to repost if you want your revised version checked! MrP MrPedantic Joined on Tue, Oct 12 2004 Veteran Member 13,616 ...opella forensis / adducit febris... Clauses, Gerunds

	pdot  +  74703 Thu, 17 Feb 05 11:18 PM hey mrpendatic can you help me out? If you have msn can you add me at parhamrashidi@Hotmail.com Please I need help pdot Joined on Thu, Feb 17 2005 New Member 04

	esj1011  +  74769 Fri, 18 Feb 05 04:53 AM MrP, Thank you so much for your valuable hints ! I tried to correct the phrases according to your suggestions, I don't know how these would look liketo you. Please help me to finalize this writing. Thank you a million !!!!! P.S. by the way, can you add me to your MSN list? Mine is --> goodday@hotmail.com -----------------------Revised Version------------------------------------- Has one experience changed your life in some way? Why? Have you ever heard the Korean saying "a frog in the well"? It describes a person who lives in a small world without knowing there is a larger world than her own. I was that little frog before I came to America through the cultural exchange program. Here in America, I have experienced many interesting, beautiful, precious cultures in the world. I thank God for being able to meet people from different cultures and backgrounds and for helping me to open my eyes to the world. I think America is a beautiful country of combination of all those unique cultures from all over the world. I am happy that I have met those people with interests in Korean culture, and I have done my best to help them to understand my culture. esj1011

	MrPedantic  +  74962 Sat, 19 Feb 05 12:57 AM You're welcome, esj! Just a couple of small changes: Here in America, I have experienced many interesting, beautiful, precious cultures in the world. ] not quite right; maybe: 'so many interesting, beautiful, precious cultures from around the world'. I thank God for being able to meet people] '...God for enabling me...' helping me to open my eyes to the world. ] Or just: 'helping to open my eyes to the world'. I think America is a beautiful country of combination of all those unique cultures from all over the world. ] maybe 'America is a beautiful country, combining all those unique...' But I quite liked your original version – it only needs a couple of changes: 'I think America is a beautiful country, where it has been made possible for people from all kinds of different cultures and lifestyles to live in harmony'. I am happy that I have met those people with interests in Korean culture, ] maybe 'so many people with an interest in K. culture' Otherwise, pretty good! (I like 'frog in a well'.) MrP PS: I'm not able to MSN, sadly, as it's blocked on my work pc, but please feel free to post your questions here! MrPedantic

	esj1011  +  75249 Sun, 20 Feb 05 10:57 AM Thank you Mr.P You have been a great help! My final draft is: Have you ever heard the Korean saying "a frog in the well"? It describes a person who lives in a small world without knowing there is a larger world than her own. I was that little frog before I came to America through the cultural exchange program. Here in America, I have experienced so many interesting, beautiful, precious cultures from around the world. I thank God for enabling me to meet people from different cultures and backgrounds and for helping me to open my eyes to the world. I think America is a beautiful country, where it has been made possible for people from all kinds of different cultures and lifestyles to live in harmony. I am happy that I have met those people with interests in Korean culture, and I have done my best to help them to understand my culture. thanks again esj1011

	MrPedantic  +  75357 Sun, 20 Feb 05 11:05 PM Hello esj Looking at the last paragraph again, I wonder whether I've misled you: 'I think America is a beautiful country, where it has been made possible for people from all kinds of different cultures and lifestyles to live in harmony.' – It might be better simply to say: '...country where people from all kinds of different cultures and with all kinds of different lifestyles can live in harmony.' (Otherwise there's the question of 'who' has made it possible!) Also, in the last sentence, maybe: '...I have met so many people with an interest...' Good luck! MrP MrPedantic Paragraphs