Help to check my convering letter and motivation letter, pls. Thanks

I am new here, this is my first time to come here. I am not a native speaker, I hope someone can give me some advices, cause the letter I wrote looks very stranger. Thanks for help

 

motivation questionary:

What steps did you take in determining which investment banking firms  you applied to ( up to 90 words)

 

Three steps are needed. The first step is to consider the firms’ reputation and specialisation in its area. Good reputation represents a good chance for me to study, while speicialisation makes me study in different and depth angle. Next step is checking the culture of enterprise, a comfortable and suitable culture is good for promoting motivation and passion.  Finally, the process and content of training are taken into account, which gives a right direction and make sure to win in first step.

 

 

What attracted you to apply for a role at ---------- (company's name)(up to 90 words )

-------- (company's name) enjoys a high reputation in investment banking with an AA long-term credit rating and over ---(number)billion in balance sheet. It focuses on risk management and financing and has a distinctive business model, which makes the company become more in-depth specialist expertise. Moreover, the mission that to be the premier European investment bank in risk management and financing meets my motto, take a challenge and do best. Furthermore, the company offers ongoing training throughout the career, which is easy for me to set goals and achieve it.   

 

Why have you chosen your preferred role? (up to 90 words)

I am especially attracted to -------(position's name) since I am seeking a fast-paced, solution focused and client-facing position. At the same time, as ----- area is the heart of the company, it requires the employee have a high qualification to ensure excellent results, and successful delivery of financial solutions and products. I have real passion about this role not only I defined myself as creative, dynamic, adaptable, and confident that meets the requirements of the role, but also my knowledge in business and finance.

Covering letter:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby apply for the position of -------Group Analyst Internship as advertised on your website.

------(company's name) is a leading global financial services organization with the range of opportunities provided within training scheme. During ten weeks internship, it supplies professional and realistic training which will give me invaluable experience for my future studies or careers. ------(company's name) particularly attracts me owing to its entrepreneurial spirit: loves change which meets my motto: take a challenge and do my best. Working with different people presents me with a rare opportunity to challenge myself to become more professional and better.

I first knew and became interested in Capital Markets through an ‘Insight Course’ I attended during the second year at university and through the teamwork on portfolio management program, I confirmed my belief that working around capital markets is the career I want. I am especially attracted to capital markets since I am seeking a fast-paced, solution focused and client-facing position. I have real passion about this role, it enables me to use not only my interest in working with people but also my knowledge in business and finance.

Personally I define myself as creative, dynamic, adaptable, and confident. I am willing, and motivated to contribute to the team and projects to ensure excellent results, and successful delivery of financial solutions and products. During my time as a student I have had a variety of social activities and vacation jobs, all of which have required me to work as part of a team to problem solve with cooperative attitude. I found my work at the -------(company's name) particularly valuable in teaching me how to deal with diverse customer needs and satisfy them with different solutions.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application for the internship at your company. I hope that you will be persuaded of my potential to perform well on this program I can be available for interview at any time and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

-----

 

Anonymous wrote:

I am new here, this is my first time to come here. I am not a native speaker, I hope someone can give me some advices, cause the letter I wrote looks very stranger. Thanks for help   motivation questionary: What steps did you take in determining which investment banking firms  you applied to ( up to 90 words)   Three steps are needed. The first step is to consider the firms’ reputation and specialisation in its area. Good reputation represents a good chance for me to study, while speicialisation makes me study in different and depth angle. Next step is checking the culture of enterprise, a comfortable and suitable culture is good for promoting motivation and passion.  Finally, the process and content of training are taken into account, which gives a right direction and make sure to win in first step.     What attracted you to apply for a role at ---------- (company's name)(up to 90 words ) -------- (company's name) enjoys a high reputation in investment banking with an AA long-term credit rating and over ---(number)billion in balance sheet. It focuses on risk management and financing and has a distinctive business model, which makes the company become more in-depth specialist expertise. Moreover, the mission that to be the premier European investment bank in risk management and financing meets my motto, take a challenge and do best. Furthermore, the company offers ongoing training throughout the career, which is easy for me to set goals and achieve it.      Why have you chosen your preferred role? (up to 90 words) I am especially attracted to -------(position's name) since I am seeking a fast-paced, solution focused and client-facing position. At the same time, as ----- area is the heart of the company, it requires the employee have a high qualification to ensure excellent results, and successful delivery of financial solutions and products. I have real passion about this role not only I defined myself as creative, dynamic, adaptable, and confident that meets the requirements of the role, but also my knowledge in business and finance. Covering letter: Dear Sir or Madam, I hereby apply for the position of -------Group Analyst Internship as advertised on your website. ------(company's name) is a leading global financial services organization with the range of opportunities provided within training scheme. During ten weeks internship, it supplies professional and realistic training which will give me invaluable experience for my future studies or careers. ------(company's name) particularly attracts me owing to its entrepreneurial spirit: loves change which meets my motto: take a challenge and do my best. Working with different people presents me with a rare opportunity to challenge myself to become more professional and better. I first knew and became interested in Capital Markets through an ‘Insight Course’ I attended during the second year at university and through the teamwork on portfolio management program, I confirmed my belief that working around capital markets is the career I want. I am especially attracted to capital markets since I am seeking a fast-paced, solution focused and client-facing position. I have real passion about this role, it enables me to use not only my interest in working with people but also my knowledge in business and finance. Personally I define myself as creative, dynamic, adaptable, and confident. I am willing, and motivated to contribute to the team and projects to ensure excellent results, and successful delivery of financial solutions and products. During my time as a student I have had a variety of social activities and vacation jobs, all of which have required me to work as part of a team to problem solve with cooperative attitude. I found my work at the -------(company's name) particularly valuable in teaching me how to deal with diverse customer needs and satisfy them with different solutions. Thank you for taking the time to consider my application for the internship at your company. I hope that you will be persuaded of my potential to perform well on this program I can be available for interview at any time and look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely -----

Hi!!!!

Please help me in checking my covering letter too. I graduated with Masters in Electrical Engineering from FachHoch Schule, 

Furtwangen this February. Now I am looking for a job in the industry. There is a Job fair in this month and following is a 

cover letter I drafted to send with my unsolicited application to the companies.

Please let me know the corrections and where can I improve. All your comments will be very helpful. Thank you.

**** Covering Letter ****

Dear Mr. ***,

I am writing to inquire about future placement possibilities with YYYYY. I learned of your firm 

while going through the list of the organisations that will participate in the career fair----. 

Based on my research on your website, I believe there would be a good fit between my skills and 

interests and your needs.

I have completed my Master's degree in Electrical Engineering from FachHoch Schule, Furtwangen. 

The coursework has supplied me with a good understanding of Computer Engineering concepts and 

likewise given me a comprehensive exposure to disciplines like Coding Theory, Computer Networks, 

Digital Signal Processing, Multimedia Technology, Software Engineering, Telecommunications. My 

reserach interests are primely focused on Mobile Communication and Embedded Systems which 

supplemented me in doing my thesis in Mobile Multimedia and later followed by publishing a 

conference paper. I am well versed with programming in C and C++, having undertaken several 

projects in the same. Enclosed is my curriculum-vitae which further outlines my qualifications.

While working towards my Master’s degree, I have had a variety of student jobs and research

positions. The industry assignments have truly been a truly rewarding experience. Studying

for a degree and working have made it necessary for me to learn how to prioritize tasks and

have instilled in me the need to remain flexible. I have had to be highly organised in order to

meet deadlines both at school and work. Along with, I also developed an appreciation for team

ability, thanks to the senior and fellow colleagues in my previous endeavours. In addition to my

technical experience, I have excellent communication skills having given several presentations

and organised symposiums at the University.

With my strong academic base, starting a challenging career in a premier organization like

yours with focus on innovative research and development is a natural and corner stone of my

professional aspiration. I am certainly willing to explore this further and would very much

appreciate the opportunity to have a discussion with you in this regard. Thank you for your

consideration. I look forward to talking with you.

Your’s sincerely

My name is Simeon Kostov, presently a  student in my final year at high school. ( This is not a really good sentence...you should say something like)
I am currently enrolled in my final year at High School. I live in Bulgaria, which is a european country ( etc etc..just say something about Bulgaria that gives them a picture of your country..they may not have been in Bulgaria before )

Say something like : My family is very open to  new cultures ...then say something about tolerance and cultural understanding .
I have always wanted to get international communication experience and to get know different countries with their unique traditions ,culture ,customs and historical heritage. I  am quite sure that becoming acquainted with another culture and living in a different social environment would broadened my mind and would made me much more independent and capable to face and deal with various issues and challenges .Getting sufficient knowledge is my primary goal and I believe that the best way to achieve it is studying abroad.

  In 2007 Bulgaria became a member of the European Union which gave an opportunity to many talented and ambitious young people to travel and to look for better educational possibilities .I am one of these ambitious youngsters and i am very enthusiastic about the opportunity to apply for the international study program that you offer and to have chance to go abroad to study and work.

  Personally I define myself as dynamic ,adaptable ,conscious and confident person .I am serious goal-oriented individual ,highly motivated to face various challenges .I think that a person should always be ready and well prepared to face and deal with the challenges of the dynamic world in which we live in,that is why I am truly convinced that studying abroad will provide me the invaluable experience and opportunity to develop my communication skills to a high level .Residing in a different social ,cultural , linguistic and bureaucrat environment would enhanced my abilities to solve different and sometimes unexpected problems and would made  me a self-sufficient person .Being an independent ,conscious and responsible person I am sure that I will manage to adapt to a life in a foreign country. My independence and full responsibility for myself have driven me to a higher level of maturity than many of my peers, a quality that differentiates me from many other applicants. Studying and communicating with people from various social  and cultural backgrounds ,according to me are amazing and exciting opportunities .I believe that the communication with other people is not difficult to me, because I am very open, urging for knowledge and sociable person.

 My desire to study in an international environment is one of  the main reasons for my choice to study abroad .The other significant reason for my choice is the quality of the education provided by the European universities. No matter in which specific field you would like to realize yourself after graduating  you would have significant advantage if you have graduated in some of the prestigious European university.

I am convinced that attending to one of the universities in Denmark will give me great opportunities in the future to become a professional in the field I would like to build up a career.

 Every youngster`s task is to choose the opportunities from all possibilities and according to these,to create a vision of their future. My vision for the future is related to my ambition for getting qualitative knowledge and becoming a professional and I am highly resolute to achieve my goal.

 When you decide to study abroad you need to make yourself acquainted with the country in which you are going to live in. That is why I made some researches for my own concerning all educational possibilities in Denmark. Quite honestly I was astounded when I discovered the various qualitative features of the Danish educational system. I also was impressed by the attractive business climate with high standards in education and research in an international perspective.  I connected with some Bulgarian students studying in Denmark and they gave me detailed information about the advantages and disadvantages in the educational system in Denmark. They also shared with me some of their experiences  concerning their adaptation to the Danish society .I think that the features of the Danish educational system such as active study environments ,the interdisciplinary studies and the project-based activities ,which unfortunately are not features of the Bulgarian educational system, will contribute for providing me of qualitative knowledge and competitive abilities for facing the challenges of an international career .The  Danish educational system prepares you for the real world and helps you to develop your skills that can be used for your professional career. According to me this is very important because a person after his graduation should be very well prepared to deal with the various issues concerning his occupation. Unfortunately the Bulgarian educational system does not provide such an effective and modern way of teaching as the Danish does that is why after many researches I made my crucial choice to study in Denmark where the provocative way of thinking is encouraged and the modern teaching methods take place.

 I have got a clear vision for my future studies. I would like to gain a solid knowledge of cross-cultural and intercultural issues and strategies. I desire to work in the field of international management of multinational companies. Working around capital markets is the career I want. I believe that studying in Denmark will enable me to develop the right professional qualities and to get the most appropriate knowledge needed for becoming a professional, successful and prosperous person.

  Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I hope that you will be persuaded of my potential to perform well on this study program. I can be available for interview at any time and look forward to hearing from you.

This is a really good letter. But are you sure that you want to attend a school in denmark? where they speak danish ? I would recommend Great Britain...or some other english speaking country :)  You write very well... no misspellings at all...