Thank you Grammar Geek, for your help ! "blue" words are the words that I correct again.However, I still don't know how to correct the the "red" mistakes ? Sorry for my slow understanding, my English isnt very good,so please correct for me one more time, Thank you so much !
Numerous people around the world study English as their foreign language. Many of them attribute a fluent English learner to living in an English-speaking country, whereas others believe that there are many obstacles when they 're studying overseas. Therefore, this essay will discuss about the benefits and negatives of studying English in an English-speaking country.
The first argument in favor of studying English in an English-speaking country is that students can enhance all their English skills with the support of good facilities. Firstly, the surrounding environment speaking English full-time wherever
students go may help them improve speaking and listening dramatically.
Furthermore, they have enormous oppotunities to approach a new culture and the modern living style in most English speaking countries. Those lead to the deeper understanding in (may be not necessary ?) English and indirectly make students' reading and writing skills better. In brief, English skills will rise up when students live in an English-speaking country.
Although there are some advantages, studying English in an English-speaking country still has some disadvantages.
The primary negative for studying English in an English-speaking
country is that there are various obstacles when living alone in the
new country. Many students who have not left their home before feel
shocked with the new culture and they usually find difficult to live
independently because of the lack of family support. --That was a very well-written sentence! (thank you) In
addition, most English speaking countries are developed. As a
consequence, there are many exotic things for students to discover and some of them may lose their seft-control and plunge themselves into playing without studying This needs a bit of
development. Are you saying that will fall into the hedonistic
lifestyle of the decadent Americans? What are the real dangers you're
talking about? ( I re-writethat sentence already,is that clearer ? )
Another disadvantage of studying English in an English speaking
country is the financial problems. Living overseas for many years in
order to studying may cost a large amount of money. For example, the
aggregate of living cost and tuition fees for one year study in
Australia may cost around 30,000 dollars. Moreover, the cost can
increase each year as a result of inflation all over the world and that
can be a burden for students' family finance.
In conclusion, this essay has identified both positive and
negative aspects of studying English in an English speaking country.
Despite the advantages to improve all English skills, it still have a
pressure for students and their family. Consequently, students should
think carefully about studying overseas to make sure that their family can afford the financial aspect and they can
adapt easily to new environment . You list only "adapt" but you
mention the financial aspect too. I think you should add something
about that to your final sentence.