Hello. I'm a Japanese man, and I am planning to study abroad.
This is my first
time to post my essay here.
I would be most grateful if you could point out and correct errors of grammar, expression,
logic, and so on, in my essay.
I wrote this essay for TOEFL, so please take it into account. (At the last exam, I scored 18 out of 30 in the writing section.)
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"Some
people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peoplerefer
to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?
Use pecific reasons and examples to support your answer."
When
considering the place to eat food, some people like to eat out at
restaurants,while others prefer to eat at home. I support the latter
idea, for it is more economical. My answer is based on the following
two points.
Firstly, we can cut cost for diet by preparing by
ourselves. In general, dishes at restaurant are more expensive than
those cooked at home. Various costs such as maintenance cost and labor
cost are required to serve dishes at restaurants, and these inevitable
factors make the price higher. On the other hand, when preparing food
at home, we can compare supermarkets to pursue and purchase more
inexpensive materials such as vegetables and meat. Moreover, we don’t
need to pay such maintenance cost and labor cost. Therefore, it is more
economical to prepare and eat at home.
Next, we can limit our
expenditure for seeing a doctor. If we continue to eat out, the risk of
diabetes or other diseases become higher, for foods served at
restaurants tends to be contained with a lot of salt and fat. We feel
delicious when we eat oily food. Restaurants try to serve delicious
food. Then, it is unhealthy to eat out. Therefore, if we eat at home
and keep ourselves healthy, we can keep down medical care cost.
Furthermore, we can choose materials by our own, which enable us to
choose safer ones. Thus, by preparing and eating at home, we can keep
ourselves healthy, and can cut cost for medical care.
In
conclusion, if we prepare and eat food at home, it is more economical
because we can make a selection of more reasonable foods, and we can
keep down cost for seeing a doctor. In Japan, the number of children
has decreased, and the number of elderly people has increased. It will
be difficult to support the cost for medical by a small working
population. Then, Japanese people should try to decrease the cost.
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