Check for "nativeness"

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Iro4eka  #563404  Sun, 07 Sep 08 11:46 AM
Hello! I am a Russian language speaker. I'm working at several translation projects now and experience some problems with making my text sound more natural. The target audience is AE speakers so the matter is of vital importance for me. I will be really grateful for everybody who just answers me if the following statements sound natural for native speakers or not. Here they are:
1. Negative information embodies a great amount of distractive energy which might trigger destroying effect of our well-being, feelings and self-evaluation. 
2. Having lively imagination will make it easier to take advantage of the shielding-in-the-moment method known as “waterfall technique”
3. Having no possibility to make a trek to the country, go for a stroll to the park to get an eyeful of nature's peace and take the air. The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders of nature, the less we think of all the life’s daily stresses and fill up with an amazing sense of peace and well being.
4. Dissipate the onset of negative emotions by letting off steam at the gym. Get physical until the pleasant sensation of weariness arises.
 
It should be added that these are entries for blogs, so I will appreciate your advice how to make them more "blog-oriented" if they are not. You may contact me by skype or icq.
I thank everybody for the support in advance!!

  
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Mister Micawber  #563414  Sun, 07 Sep 08 12:15 PM
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1. Negative information embodies a great amount of distractive energy which might trigger destruction of our well-being, good feelings and contentment
2. Having a lively imagination will make it easier to take advantage of the shielding-in-the-moment method known as the “waterfall technique”.
3. If we cannot make a trek to the country, we should go for a stroll in the park to take the air and get an eyeful of the peacefulness of nature. The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders of nature, the less we will think of our daily stresses and fill with an amazing sense of peace and well-being.
4. Dissipate the onset of negative emotions by letting off steam at the gym. Get physical until the pleasant sensation of weariness arises.
  
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Iro4eka  #563509  Sun, 07 Sep 08 07:28 PM
Still need your help!! It's very urgent!
  
Tanit  #563530  Sun, 07 Sep 08 09:36 PM

Iro4eka
Still need your help!!

Hi,

Did you read the post above yours? MM teaches English and is a native speaker ...
  
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Iro4eka  #563733  Mon, 08 Sep 08 01:04 PM
I did! Still, it is not  exact answer to my questions since I had my Grammar checked there (and I'm grateful for this), but I would like to get some comments on the structure of the sentences and the style regarding US blogs. Thanks in advance!!!
  
Mister Micawber  #563735  Mon, 08 Sep 08 01:08 PM
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Respectable blogs, like any public writings, require good standard English composition.
  
Feebs11  #563736  Mon, 08 Sep 08 01:09 PM
 If you have had the grammar checked, but MrM has indicated changes he would advise, perhaps you would be better to think carefully about the sentences. To me they read like a translation, and can be obscure. They need to be thought about in order to understand them.

 

As to blogs, since they are personal expressions, there is no such thing as a "style". Every blogger has his or her or their own style. 

  
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Iro4eka  #563749  Mon, 08 Sep 08 01:26 PM
Thanks for the comments! That's just what I wanted.
  
Iro4eka  #563754  Mon, 08 Sep 08 01:38 PM
I appreciate your help for sure. The problem is following: being not a native speaker I wonder what "good standard English composition" means rather than about the assertion of its necessity. The latter is obvious. Regards!
  
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