I have chosen to talk about Ilan Ramon , I need some advices.

The part that you've written in bold text should be like this:

he was the first Israeli astronaut and he contributed a lot to Israel's military.

"Donated" suggests that he gave money or equipment, which I don't think is what you mean, so I changed it to "contributed".

Another way of saying more-or-less the same thing is:

he was the first Israeli astronaut and he served with distinction in Israel's armed forces.

This sounds better to me, but is a little further away from the words you actually wrote.

I don't understand your last question starting "How cay can I get the introduction..."

If you have any specific questions about using English then I'd be happy to try to help (along with lots of other people here, of course).

But your request above is too vague -- I don't know what you want me to do, short of writing the paper myself, which is not going to help you improve your English.