Comma questions

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Anonymous

#341696 Wed, 21 Mar 07 01:40 PM

My teacher left me a comment about my comma usage...i am reworking some of my paper and i want to know if this is proper comma usage. I have always had problems with proper comma useage.

"Earlier in the development of the poem, Kinnell uses an extended metaphor as he describes a flowering bud, which delineates and sets forth the timbre of the poem as previously described: (insert quoted text)."

Is there a better way to write this?

Anonymous

Commas, Metaphors

Grammar Geek

#341710 Wed, 21 Mar 07 02:55 PM

The question that arises from your original is whether it's the bud or the metaphor that "delineates and sets forth..."

Put a period after bud, and start with "This metaphor..."

(With "Earlier" I would expect "used" not "uses." If you want to stick with uses, then go with early. Earlier creates an expectation of a sequent of tenses.)

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Barbara, who answers in American English.

Tenses, Commas, Metaphors