Comparison (story)

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FlagofFreedom  #267466  Fri, 15 Sep 06 03:11 PM
Please edit it:

I will tell His Majesty that Pingxi King will never rebel. Even if he be invited to be emperor, he will not like to be. Since imperial palaces are not more splendent than his, nor dress more beautiful; moreover, what you eat is more delicious than what His Majesty eats ( I am
in charge of the management of the imperial cooking matters).
  
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Marius Hancu  #267474  Fri, 15 Sep 06 03:21 PM
splendent
I think you want resplendent

Even if he were invited to be ...
palaces do not dress, I think
  
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FlagofFreedom  #267539  Fri, 15 Sep 06 04:42 PM
Well, it seems that that still needs editing.

I will tell His Majesty that Pingxi King will never rebel. Even if he were invited to be emperor, he will not like to be. Since imperial palaces are not more resplendent than his, nor clothes more beautiful; moreover, what you eat is more delicious than what His Majesty eats ( I am
in charge of the management of the imperial cooking matters).
  
FlagofFreedom  #267540  Fri, 15 Sep 06 04:42 PM
Well, it seems that that still needs editing.

I will tell His Majesty that Pingxi King will never rebel. Even if he were invited to be emperor, he will not like to be. Since neither are imperial palaces more resplendent than his, nor clothes more beautiful; moreover, what you eat is more delicious than what His Majesty eats ( I am
in charge of the management of the imperial cooking matters).
  
nona the brit  #267552  Fri, 15 Sep 06 04:52 PM

Is the King's name Pingxi? Then he needs to be called King Pingxi not Pingxi King.

Is Pingxi the name of the country? Then it should read 'that the King of Pingxi'

Even if he were invited to be emperor, he would not want to be.

Since imperial palaces are not more resplendent than his, nor his clothes more beautiful; (this doesn't make too much sense. Whose palaces and who is the 'his'. Also, since means 'therefore' but it doesn't seem to relate to anything. He doesn't want to be king therefore his palaces are etc etc...it doesn't work.)

 moreover, what you eat is more delicious than what His Majesty eats (presumably the 'you' is a third party, neither His Majesty nor King Pingxi?)

  
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The name says it all.
FlagofFreedom  #267578  Fri, 15 Sep 06 06:07 PM
An imperial envoy told King Pingxi at the greeting dinner. King here refers to duke, the highest grade of the peerage in Qing Dynasty, China.
  
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