complaints

Can you please read this sentence and help me make it more clear and natural? Thanks friend

I would like to thank you for your support during my first month in this community,  firstly I am really sorry that I give my sharing in this letter, because It’s not easy for me to share and talk about my life in English. Anyway, after I passed my first month, I made a “considerius status” (latin) about my live. In my considerius status, I look back on my spiritual life, community life, and about study life. I look which one getting settled and I look which one decrease or stagnant.

I am really happy and I can enjoy living with my new community and even we didn’t know each others before, we come from different country and different language and back ground, but I could fell a friendly and nice community. I’m also would like to thanks to my community for their friendship and hope I can keep on making friendship in community. But in my considerius status, I found there was some problem with my study life, especially in English class with my teacher. I don’t know where I have to start with my sharing, but for me I really could not enjoy my class with my teacher. I felt a strain situation in my class. Something that make me not comfortable and it’s disturb me when she gave me corrections, but some how the corrections looks like push me on the corner and I really felt pressed with that way. One day, she told us to being honest; to told her if there were a problems or something like that; so the class will livelier and more corporative. So, we (the three of us) tried to make the class more livelier with jokes or something like that, but she didn’t accept, I tried to make an active class; speaking or asking, but one day, she didn’t directly said that I’m talk active, but she asked who the three of you more talk active, otherwise, she pointed to me, but really my intension just to make the situation in the class more active with asking. And when I asked for something, she taught that I was testing her, but really I just want to get more explanation. Based on that experience, I tried to be quiet and tried to listen, but some how, she didn’t like it. I began to give my reaction, like ; I didn’t give my attention in her class, maybe my face showed that I felt bored and I can’t concentrate in all lessons. There is some space that I can’t accept her in class. And she also gave the reaction to me, and the ways she talks to me sometimes make me uncomfortable. I became stagnant in the class

Every day I am always think about this problem, I could not study, what I shall to do, because I felt it’s very different with the other English class. In that class, even there many mistakes, we felt ok when the teacher gave some corrections, sometimes we can laughed together with our mistakes. I realize that I have a good opportunity to study English in Manila, so I should not waste my time. What will my parents say if when I go back to my country, then I don’t have anything in English? Because with her class sometimes I felt that I waste my time, because really what she said on the lessons, there is nothing stayed in my mind. I just came, sat and listened, but my mind and my attention were not in the class. The resistant become grew up to this class.    

One day after the class finished, she asked me to take a time to talk together and we share together about this problem, I don’t know, but I thing, she want to said that I’m made mistake and made her hurt. Hurt? (When I made some joke with my friends she thought that I teased her, really…really I didn’t have intension to tease her, I just played). At that time we talked a lot about our class. I told her that there was misunderstood and I said to her I’m very sorry if made her hurt. I have never experienced like this class. I had many strict teachers before, but it’s different. I didn’t worry again because I had verified about the problem to her.

            When I’m thinking about next class with her, could I give my best after all of these?  I didn’t hate her but I just not agree with her style in teaching. Rejecting? Maybe, I’m trying to being honest. I also felt very sorry to the two of my friends; I don’t want to disturb them with this problem. I didn’t know what I have to do; I hope you can help me to solve this problem, I so sorry that I disturb you with this problem, thank you.  

Regards,

Atans