Contractions..doesn't, aren't, won't, shouldn't....

When questions are posed in this format I find it very difficult to respond in a positive manner! For example, when someone says "Doesn't it drive you crazy when ....?".....well, when it doesn't drive you crazy how can one respond? The format seems to invite negativity. For example, "Don't you have your homework done?, indirectly presumes the work is not done whereas"DO you have your homework done?" is so much less intimidating and allows for a reponse that is not defensive in nature.

DO you feel the defensiveness and negaivity I'm refering to?

When the question is phrased with the negative (don't you, doesn't he), it shows an assumption on the part of the speaker that he or she is correct. It can also be used to show surprise.  I don't think the phrasing makes it "negative" in the emotional sense, but the assumption the person has made can be offensive. (In other words, blame the person asking, not the grammar.)

And, as said above, you simply smile and say "No, not at all." or "No, not yet."