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Anonymous

#458513 Sun, 30 Dec 07 02:33 PM

Hi,
"Make up to your mind foryourself what you 'need' and will use the more, if you already have a desktop that is still running smoothly why buy a laptop? I'd say buy a PS3/XBOX360 and wait a lil bit more for the new collection of laptops to come out, you'd get a better laptop for the same price you'd buy one now"

Thanks

Anonymous

Clive

#458568 Sun, 30 Dec 07 05:14 PM

Hi,

"Make up to your mind foryourself what you 'need' and will use the more, if you already have a desktop that is still running smoothly why buy a laptop? I'd say buy a PS3/XBOX360 and wait a lil bit more for the new collection of laptops to come out, you'd get a better laptop for the same price you'd buy one now"

"Make up to your mind for yourself about what you 'need' and will use more. If you already have a desktop that is still running smoothly, why buy a laptop? I'd say buy a PS3/XBOX360 and wait a little bit longer for the new collection of laptops to come out. You'll get a better laptop for the same price that you'd buy one for now."

Clive

Joined on Thu, Oct 28 2004

Canada

Veteran Member (21,212)

El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo

Buddhaheart

#458598 Sun, 30 Dec 07 07:08 PM

"Make up to (the ‘to’ is not necessary) your mind for (space required after ‘for’) yourself what you 'need' and will use the more (the underlined clause doesn’t make sense or doesn’t sound natural?), (This is a ‘comma splice’. Start a new sentence if possible.) if (possibly ‘If’ with a capital letter ‘I’.’If’ might not even be necessary) you already have a desktop that is still (The word ’still’ is redundant. Delete it.) running smoothly why buy a laptop? I'd say buy a PS3/XBOX360 and wait a lil (little?) bit more for (Wordiness. How about just ‘until’?) the (a?) new (newer?) collection(series? model?) of laptops to come out, you'd (you then?) get a better laptop (Could use pronoun here like ‘one’?) for the same price (Lacking conjunction here?) you'd buy (pay?) for one now."

Buddhaheart

Joined on Sat, Jan 20 2007

Vancouver Canada

Full Member (130)

Capital letters, Clauses, Commas, Nouns, Pronouns