My topic is " work in the future". My teacher let us to be free in our essay. She has no explaination for what we have to do. So i express my essay freely. Help me to correct essay. I really try my best to write my essay. If you see something to improve my essay, just tell me. Thanks for helping. 

Work In Future

My personal dream job is to become a software programmer in the future. My subject is about Information Technology and software developer programs‘s job has a great potential to grow up in Vietnam. Many things have lead up to my decision to choose this career in Information Technology filed. Firstly, When Vietnam entry WTO, the need of IT professional’s human resources grows rapidly and there is a shortage of high-grade young professionals to develop software technology in Vietnam. According to Vietnam works website- the largest website provides or supply employees of many kinds of job to employers, there is an increase from 30 to 40% in recruiting workers in many kinds of job in 2009, especially in Information Technology’s area about 12%- the biggest number of all kinds of job’s number. If you are good student in IT subject, you can get a good job easily. Furthermore, the salary to pay for software programming job in IT filed is higher than other jobs. The starting point salary for newcomers is approximately from 3 millions to 4,5 millions Vietnamese dong, about 200 to 300 USD- is an idea salary for young people nowadays.

 

In order to achieve my goal, one must be able to be interested in Computing. The truth is you can’t spend many hours in front of computer to write codes, research on the internet and read many computing technical documents in English everyday if you don’t love your job. I enjoy working with computer and I find their power and usefulness very fascinating.  The job loving will motivate me to pursue my difficult goal. Furthermore, before becoming a successful software programmer, I need a right attitude in studying when I’m a student in my university. I strongly believe that both of my jobs’s loving and a right attitude in studying will help me to reach my dream job in the future.

 

 

Hi.

There are a lot of things here that need to be corrected, and I'm not sure where to start.

Try starting with this: My dream job is to work in the Information Technology field as a software programmer. Some of the reasons I've chosen this career are ...

Now, before you try to write them into your essay, list them briefly. A shortage of IT workers, what else, what else.

Then start a new paragraph and write a bit more detail about each of these. The sentence about the Web site made almost no sense, so work on that one.

Now, as for the final paragraph, you start with "my" but switch to "one." Pick one person (I/me/my or a person/one/he/she) and stick with it. You need an article before computer, or you need to make it plural. Since you use "they" afterwards you should probably make it plural.

So go back and try it again, taking things more slowly.

 I fixed it already and is it better than the last post above?

 

 

 

My personal dream job is to work in the Information Technology field as a software programmer. Some of those reasons I’ve chosen this career are the high needs in young professionals, high salary to maintain a stable life and the loving of math and science.

Firstly, When Vietnam entry WTO, there is a shortage of high-grade young professionals to develop software technology in Vietnam. According to Vietnamese newspapers, there is an increase from 30 to 40% in recruiting workers in many kinds of job in 2009, especially in Information Technology’s area about 12%- the biggest number of all kinds of job’s number. The second major reason of choosing this career is a high salary for a happy life. Indeed, the salary to pay for software programming job in IT filed is higher than other jobs. The starting point salary for newcomers is approximately from 3 millions to 4,5 millions Vietnamese dong, about 200 to 300 USD- is an idea salary for young people nowadays. The last reason why I choose this toughest career is because I love to study math and science since I was in high school. As we know that, working on Computer work involves many things in math and science. I enjoy working with mathematical exercises and exploring new and fascinating things in science.

 

My big goal is how to succeed on my career path including getting job easily in a dynamic environment and moving up in the long run. In order to achieve my first objective, one must is to hold an excellent bachelor’s degree of my major. Because employers from large companies always intend to look for candidates who had good achievements in their student’s life. To achieve the second objective, I need to equip other skills-soft-skills- such as teamwork, communication, solving problem skills and so on. Learning other soft skills will help me to succeed communication at work and to be soon promoted.