Learn English and meet people on the world’s largest EFL social network

Correct my Essey please.

ESL Writing » Essay, Report & Composition Writing

We have partnered with TradePub to bring you free industry magazines and resources - no coupons or credit cards required!

Visit: englishforums.tradepub.com


Share this topic:
This is a discussion thread.
Latest post Thu, Dec 6 2007 5:10 PM by Grammar Geek. 1 replies.
| |
Anonymous  +  450375 Thu, 06 Dec 07 03:41 PM
Hi all Wink [;)] Could sb correct mistakes in my tale? please, i've got it as homework from english and i have to got it as best as i could.
Please its very important. Thank you in advice Stick out tongue [:P] Subject of story is 'My Nightmare Journey'

Here it is:

'A nightmare journey I remember was five years ago. I was trying to get to ma grandma house which is 79miles farther. I packed up, dress and went to garage where suppose to be ma car.

When I was going down by the stairs i realized that i lend it to ma bestfriend..

-jeez. WHY?

I call a taxi.

Few minutes later I was going to the bus stop from which I could get to Manchester.. when i get out from cab I saw timetable which help me find out that I've been three munutes late. Next will be in 2,5h.

-jeez. WHY?

I phoned up ma friend to ask him if he could give me a lift to Manchester city. I'll pay for petrol ofcourse. He said OK and 20 min later picked me up from that way station. When we were passing by Oldham city. We had an accident. We fall out from rout and crashed on field.. I woke up in hospital and it was end of ma journey. I have broke ma leg and two hands. I will never walk again'.



I must done it till 1,5h
Anonymous
Grammar Geek  +  450400 Thu, 06 Dec 07 05:10 PM

"ma" should be "my."

I should always be capitalized.

.. is not a way to end a sentence.

Sentences start with capital letters.

I broke my leg - not I have broke

"I will never walk again" seems like an overly dramatic ending!

You have a few problems with tense. Either put it all in the past (I packed up, dressed and went... for example)

I realized I had lent it to my best friend.

What are those links thoughout your essay?
Grammar Geek
Joined on Tue, Jan 10 2006
Veteran Member 19,659
Barbara, who answers in American English. My housekeeping skills attest to the truth of the second law of thermodynamics: Left to themselves, things get more and more random!
, ,
Welcome to Englishforums.com, the world's largest EFL / TEFL social network.

Places to start

Browse Englishforums

© MediaCet Ltd. 2009, v5.0.3607.32596. All content posted by our users is a contribution to the public domain, this does not include imported usenet posts.*
For web related enquires please contact us on webmaster@mediacet.com, status updates are available at status.mediacet.com.
*Usenet post removal: Use 'X-No-Archive'. You may not have understood that your posts would end up in the public domain. Please send proof of the poster's email, we will remove immediately.