Please correct my short letter

   Share on Facebook  
Anonymous  #497920  Tue, 08 Apr 08 07:31 AM

 

could please correct this letter or draft in better way pls 

 

Date: 07th April, 2008 Ref : KCW/101/2008 Al Salem EstablishmentSafat, 32035. Shuwaikh.  Attention                :                Mr. Mohammad Amin                                                Human Resources Manager Dear Mr. Amin SUPPLY OF MANPOWER PERSONNEL’S REVISED RATES  Further to your letter dated 23rd March 2008, we would like to bring your notice that the Rates quoted for supply of candidates for Engineer category are very low while we do the survey in the market. Therefore could you please send us the revised increased rates for the Engineer category in order supply personnel’s on time. Yours sincerely,  Hussain YatimDeputy General Manager

 

  
Feebs11  #498250  Tue, 08 Apr 08 10:04 PM
Anonymous

 

could please correct this letter or draft in better way pls 

 

Date: 07th April, 2008

 Ref : KCW/101/2008 Al Salem Establishment Safat, 32035. Shuwaikh.  

Attention:   Mr. Mohammad Amin, Human Resources Manager 

 Dear Mr. Amin,

SUPPLY OF MANPOWERREVISED RATES  

Further to your letter dated 23rd March 2008, we would like to bring to your notice that the rates quoted for the supply of Engineering candidates are very low in relation to other companies' quoted fees. Therefore could you please send us revised increased rates for the Engineer category in order that we may supply suitable candidates on time. 

Yours sincerely,  

 

Hussain Yatim

Deputy General Manager

 

 

 

This seems odd. Who is charging whom? If you are supplying candidates for jobs, then it is for you to set the charges. If the person to whom you are writing is supplying candidates, then the letter does not make sense.

  
Top 25 Contributor
Joined on Thu, Nov 23 2006
UK
Senior Member (4,660)
ModeratorProficient Speaker
AddThis Feed Button RSS Feed: ESL, Formal, General & Business Letter Writing (English language)
© 2008 MediaCET Ltd.
Terms and Conditions