Correct Use of Upon/whereby/while in a sentence

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HI,

I have come across some sentences which are using upon/whereby/while, which I believe are not correct.

  • These Alerts would later be actioned upon by the alert administrators.
  • It also performs Notification processing whereby the notification messages raised by the the are routed to other subsystems.
  • The system while sending messages to queue populates a JMS property Resolution_Code with value as “VAL”,
  • In case of error while processing of external alerts, message is send to Process Message use case for negative application acknowledgement generation.


  • · The collaboration is triggered upon message arrival in Queue.

    I have questions regarding the words highlighted in RED. Could someone correct these sentences and suggest some alternative senteses/words?

    Parry
New Member30
There are so many other problems with these sentences, Parry, that the highlighted words are insignificant.
Veteran Member92,262
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Hi Mister Micawber.

My initial thought was that the sentenses were correct except use of hightlighted words. But it does not seems to be case now.

It would be great if you could you highlight the problem and suggest correction.
Parry07HI,

I have come across some sentences which are using upon/whereby/while, which I believe are not correct.
  • These Alerts would later be actioned upon by the alert administrators. [You do not need "upon" with "to action something". Or rephrase completely : The Administrators will take action on these Alerts.
  • It also performs Notification processing whereby the notification messages raised by the ???? are routed to other subsystems. OK to me
  • The system, while sending messages to the queue, populates a JMS property Resolution_Code with value as “VAL”, Or rephrase: "While sending messages to the queue, the system..."
  • In case of error while processing of external alerts, a message is send to Process Message use case for negative application acknowledgement generation.
· The collaboration is triggered upon message arrival in Queue.

I have questions regarding the words highlighted in RED. Could someone correct these sentences and suggest some alternative senteses/words?

Parry
You have a capital on Queue at the end - should there not also be one in query #3? If there is, you can omit "the"
Veteran Member5,006
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I don't really know what this explanation is all about, but this is my effort (which probably duplicates much of Feebs'):
  • These alerts would later be acted upon by the alert administrators.
  • [Noun required] also performs notification processing whereby the notification messages produced/generated [?] by the [noun required] are routed to other subsystems.
  • While sending messages to the queue, the system populates a JMS property Resolution_Code with the value 'VAL'.
  • In case of error during the processing of external alerts, a message is sent to Process Message use case [I cannot even begin to understand the grammar of the underlined words] for negative application acknowledgement generation.
· Collaboration is triggered upon message arrival in the queue.
SystemAdministrator: A system administrator takes care of the inner workings of the entire system. These users have the ability to promote, ban and modify other users.Teachers: Users in this role are certified teachers. This may include DELTA, CELTA, TESOL, TEFL qualified professionals. Email a scan of your qualification to an admin, if you wish to be considered.
Thanks Feebs11 and Mister Micawber.
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