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New2grammar

#520677 Thu, 29 May 08 11:16 PM

<Reporter reporting live> As you can see, thousands of people are living on the streets here in one of many quake affected cities in Szechuan. Businesses like banks, bakeries are closed. Only stores that sell emergency supplies are open. Apart from the risk of another devastating aftershock, the risk of flooding as a result of swollen 'quake lakes' is growing.

Military engineers are racing against time to drain the quake lakes as residents living downstream are evacuating. Some farmers refuse
to evacuate as the harvest season is approaching. Some officials estimate reconstructing the quake hit cities will take years if not decades and will require billions of dollars. Parents who have lost their children in the disaster are allowed to have another kid under the nation's one child policy. A victim who lost his 5 year-old daughther said he couldn't even think of having another child at the moment.

Some residents blame the government for the deaths of their children as in some affected areas, only the schools collapsed while other buildings were hardly damaged, leading residents to believe the government cut corners to save money. When officials came to clean up the rubble, residents protested and chased them away in an effort to keep the evidence which residents believe the goverment was trying to cover up.

Are there any mistakes? Thanks in advance!

New2grammar

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Delmobile

#520745 Fri, 30 May 08 04:28 AM

"Businesses like banks and bakeries are closed."

To be absolutely clear, I would say: "Some farmers refuse to evacuate because the harvest season is approaching." "As" can be used to mean "because," and your use here is correct; but I would prefer "because."

"quake hit cities" is a little awkward. I would say "cities affected by the quake."

"...will take years, if not decades, and will require..."

"Under the national's one-child policy, parents who have lost children in the disaster will be allowed to have another child." "Kid" in this kind of writing is inappropriate.

"who had lost his five-year-old daughter..." Two hyphens. And I was taught to spell out any number smaller than 100, but that's just a style question.

I'd order your last paragraph like this:

In some areas, only the school buildings collapsed, while other buildings were hardly damaged. This has led some residents of these areas to believe that the government cut corners to save money when the schools were constructed, and these parents now blame the government for the deaths of their children. When officials came to clean up the rubble, residents protested and chased them away in an effort to preserve evidence they believe the government was trying to cover up.