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Correction 2

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New2grammar  #521122  Sat, 31 May 08 01:47 AM

This is one of many dumpsites in this province. If you come here during the day, you'll see hundreds of children going through the trash to find cans, plastic, and anything that can be sold for money. On a good day, one can make one dollar. Sometimes, they don't make anything. I've seen many children dead from collapsed garbage. Some suffer from respiratory diseases because of the harmful gases. It's heartbreaking to see. Most receive no or little education and you can imagine what their futures will be. Though the economy has been growing over the past decade and the government has vowed to fight poverty, nothing has changed. One day, I ate chicken and threw the bones. The children rushed to fight for those meatless bones. As a normal citizen, there's nothing much I can do but to report what I see and hope this story will be heard and action will be taken.

Are there any mistakes?

Thanks

  
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CalifJim  #521125  Sat, 31 May 08 02:03 AM
This is one of many dumpsites in this province. If you come here during the day, you'll see hundreds of children going through the trash to find cans, plastic, and anything else that can be sold for money. On a good day, one a child can make one dollar. Sometimes, they don't make anything. I've seen many children dead from collapsed garbage.  ???  Some suffer from respiratory diseases because of the harmful gases. It's heartbreaking to see. Most receive no or little little or no education and you can imagine what their futures will be. Though the economy has been growing over the past decade and the government has vowed to fight poverty, nothing has changed. One day, I ate chicken and threw the bones.  I threw away a few bones from some chicken I was eating. The children rushed to fight for those meatless bones. As a normal an ordinary citizen, there's nothing much I can do but to report what I see and hope this story will be heard and action will be taken.

_________ 

??? I'm not completely sure what you mean by collapsed garbage, but I'm certain there's no such thing as collapsed garbage.  Was the garbage tainted, perhaps?  Or are you talking about a huge pile of garbage that collapsed on top of the children?

CJ 

  
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New2grammar  #521128  Sat, 31 May 08 02:12 AM

I meant the latter, "about a huge pile of garbage that collapsed on top of the children". How should I say that? Collapsing garbage?

  
New2grammar  #521131  Sat, 31 May 08 02:16 AM

threw away

CJ, I noticed that you bolded away. What's the difference between threw and threw away?

 

  
CalifJim  #521141  Sat, 31 May 08 02:41 AM
 I've seen many children dead from collapsed garbage.

There are a hundred way to rephrase this.  Here's one I like:

I've seen many children dead from collapses of the huge garbage mounds. 

CJ 

  
CalifJim  #521144  Sat, 31 May 08 02:45 AM
 to throw something with the intent of discarding it forever = to throw away.  throw away the scraps; throw away worn-out shoes; lock someone up and throw away the key

to throw something in anger or at play = to throw.   throw a glass of beer at someone who has insulted me; throw a ball back and forth for fun; throw a stick for the dog to fetch

 CJ 

  
New2grammar  #521151  Sat, 31 May 08 02:56 AM

Thanks, CJ!

  
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