Hello,
I'm trying to write Essays to improve my English level
cause I want to study in the United Kingdom. But I always have some
problems in grammar.
So I would like a kind English speaker
correct the big mistakes in the grammar of my sentences (not the
content). I'll be very grateful if you can help me
Thanks a lot !
The topic is : "
According to press articles, the US is a more masculine country than France. To what extent do you believe this is true ?"
Through History,
we’ve seen that American people are proud and want to manage the world.
Meanwhile, French people know how to live and they have a more collectivism mentality.
According to several studies, the US
is a more “masculine” country than France. We’re about to study if
this is a reality or not.
1°/ First, we can compare educational values
between these two countries.
The
American people educational values are rather funded on individualism.
Each person
must show his value to be recognized, the merit is more important than the link formed (relationship) with others.
Pupils and students have to be independent, self-confident, their teacher
assists them in work but they don’t give solutions. They also have to be
competitive.
For
instance, intercollegiate sporting events are promoted in American football and
basketball. These competitions attract not only young people but all sport
fans.
In France, educational values are
rather funded on collectivism.
The ties
between people are privileged, it doesn’t matter if a person undergoes many failures his family and
his friends will always support him. Devotion in relationships is essential
because people don’t stand to be alone.
As
students, we’re used to partying several times by week, we enter in student
associations to share our ideals with others and we think that is the victory
of groups which is the more important.
For
example, in soccer games, one player goal
is the equip goal. (but 1 joueur est le but de l’équipe)
According to Geert Hofstede (a press article
writer), these points show that the US
is a more masculine country than France. I think we can reveal there
is another aspect of this topic with gender ideas.
2°/ The power that is a more masculine idea can
be illustrated by American will to possess big things.
Indeed, American
cars are big like 4x4 or pick up, they
like to eat big burgers.
They use an
amazing budget for their movies with many special effects and they often
contain fights like Rambo, Terminator or Rocky. Each time, we have the feeling
that American glory is bet and it’s always American people who win.
Then, American
comics imply heroes with a super strength and a nice physical appearance like
Superman or Hulk.
On the contrary, French culture hires the small
things and products are adapted to family which is a more feminine idea.
There are
small French cars for young people the Twingo, the Clio or the Smart and we’re
used to taking a little break with a small cup of coffee.
In France, there
are often humoristic or romantic movies like movie of the moment “Bienvenue
chez les ch’tis” which is the best French humoristic movie of the year.
We’re also
used to reading comics like “Astérix” or “Tintin” who are not really
superheroes.
As we see through all these examples America owns
more masculine ideas than France and we really saw a gap between these two
mentalities.
3°/
However, the
feminine culture in France
is limited.
We also
have a competitive policy as we se through a job or college interview. The
selection is tough, there are some oral or written exams and many people are
refused.
The vision
of soccer as a “sweet” sport is far from reality because many players are hurt
during the games.
Furthermore,
there are French action movies like “Les rivières pourpres”, “Nikita” and “Leon”
which compete with American super production.
In my opinion, the association between
masculine culture with men who search for success and power, and feminine
culture with women who look after their family is a stereotype. It tends to
disappear today, women are more and more independent and they can be company’s bosses
or minister.
For
instance, the French company CHANEL is lead by a woman.
To conclude, obviously the US is a more “masculine” culture than France. But in
my view, there isn’t a best culture because self-confidence and relationships
are essential to have a happy live.
We can
wonder if the promotion of power and success could not lead to abuse.
Sincerely,