Corrections please

Hey Native speaker

i need your help again.

i wrote my cover letter and now i need corrections.

please have a glance on it.

Dear Ms. S,

            I am writing in reference to your website (www.WWW.co.uk) which is for internship program in your website. I will be graduating in September 2007 with a bachelor of Science degree in Industrial Engineering and i believe my qualifications would be consistent with those desired by your firm.

            Throughout my collegiate career, I have stayed well-rounded by combining my academics with leadership and work experience. By majoring in Industrial Engineering, I have been exposed to all facets of industrial engineering from operations research to quality control.

            From my childhood to university years, to be a part of WWW  have being my dream. I believe i will be useful to obtain your company aims. Thus this expreince will be so good for my career too.

King Regards

Saltukhan X

Saltukhan wrote:

Hey[Hello,]  Native speaker I need your help again. I wrote my cover letter and now I need corrections. Please have a glance at it. Dear Ms. S,             I am writing in reference to your website (www.WWW.co.uk) which is for internship program in your website.[Was there an advertisement on the website? If so >> "reference to the advertisement on your website requesting applications for the internship program at WWW} I will be graduating in September 2007 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Industrial Engineering and I believe my qualifications would be consistent with those desired by your firm.             Throughout my collegiate career, I have stayed well-rounded by combining my academics [academic studies] with leadership and work experience. By majoring in Industrial Engineering, I have been exposed to all facets of industrial engineering from operations research to quality control.             From my childhood to university years, to be a part of WWW  have being [has been] my dream. I believe I will be useful to obtain your company aims. Thus this expreince will be so good for my career too. a good contributor to your company, and that the experience will also be good for my career.   King Regards Yours sincerely Saltukhan X

Feebs11 wrote:

Saltukhan wrote: Hey[Hello,]  Native speaker Dear Ms. S,            I will be graduating in September 2007 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Industrial Engineering and I believe my qualifications would be consistent with those desired by your firm.

I believe my qualifications would be consistent with those desired by your firm. (Why is 'would' used? I believe it should be 'will'.)