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Latest post Sat, Apr 28 2007 1:46 PM by chiara. 4 replies.
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chiara  +  354070 Sun, 22 Apr 07 01:02 PM

Hello, I tried to write something else. I would be very grateful if somebody could check it, and give me any kind of suggestion to improve my writing.

Thanks a lot,

Chiara

 

If you were able to travel back to any place and time in history, where and when would you choose? Describe what you might experience and tell us why you would choose this particular place and time.

 

 

As human beings we can live in the present and plan our future in which we hopefully can see our dreams come true. But unfortunately nobody has made up a machine to travel to the past yet, but this is still one the most common dream.

 

Since I find creativity one of the nicest and most important aspect of human life, if I could travel to the past I would choose a period remarkable for its important artistic production as the beginning of the *** century in Paris, which is one I know better.

 

Painters, sculptures were producing beautiful masterpieces in Paris at the time. New artistic movements were blossoming there, leaving a deep mark in all arts until today.

Picasso, Matisse, Van Gogh and many others deeply changed the sense of art giving the artist complete freedom to express himself. 

 

It would have been so exciting for me visiting their astonishing exhibitions, watching the artists at work in their ateliers, surrounded by drawings, colours or pieces of stone.

 

Unfortunately, as we know, most of them had a difficult life full of economical restrictions. This was also due to the fact that their art was not immediately understood and made them part of an outcast living in despair and illness.  Some of them had a very tragic life.

 

But still their work has been very important. Their art reflects their colourful imagination, their feelings and their very skilled craft. Its sense of beauty and truth are universal values which haven’t died with time passing by and they still deeply touch our soul.

 

Joined on Wed, Feb 18 2004
Junior Member 93
St1ff  +  354731 Mon, 23 Apr 07 11:00 PM
 Chiara wrote:

Hello, I tried to write something else. I would be very grateful if somebody could check it, and give me any kind of suggestion to improve my writing.

Thanks a lot,

Chiara

 

If you were able to travel back to any place and time in history, where and when would you choose? Describe what you might experience and tell us why you would choose this particular place and time.

 

 

As human beings we can live in the present and can plan our future in which we hopefully can hopefully make see our dreams come true. But It's the most common dream to travel back in time, unfortunately nobody has made up invented a timemachine to travel back to the past yet, but this is still one the most common dream.

 

Since As I find think that creativity is one of the nicest and most important aspects of human life, if I could travel to the past I would choose a period remarkable for its important artistic production, if I could travel back in time. This for example would be as the beginning of the *** century in Paris, which is one I know better a lot about.

 

Painters and sculptureors were producing beautiful masterpieces in Paris at the time then. New artistic movements were blossoming there, leaving a deep mark in all following arts, even until today.

Picasso, Matisse, Van Gogh and many others deeply changed the sense of art giving the artist complete freedom to express himself. 

 

It would have been so exciting for me to visiting their astonishing exhibitions, watching these famous artists at working in their ateliers, surrounded by drawings, colours or pieces of stone.

 

Unfortunately, as we all know, most of them had a difficult life full of economical restrictions, caused by. This was also due to the fact that their art was not immediately understood and made them part of an outcast living in despair and illness.  Thus some of them had a very tragic life.

 

But However, still their work still has been very important. Their art reflects their colourful imagination, their feelings and their very skilled craft. Its sense of beauty and truth are universal values which haven’t died with time passing by and they still deeply touch our soul.

 



nice style and thoughts, I hope I helped you a little bit, but I'm just a non-native speaking german student, so don't rely on it Stick out tongue [:P]
Joined on Mon, Apr 23 2007
New Member 06
chiara  +  354861 Tue, 24 Apr 07 08:26 AM
Hello, thank you for correcting my essay and for your nice words.

Just a question: I don't understand very well the following corrections. I've the impression that the first one doesn't sound ver much linked to the sentence before; the second one is probably just a different writing style we have: could it be?

It's the most common dream to travel back in time, unfortunately nobody has made up invented a timemachine to travel back to the past yet, but this is still one the most common dream.

Since As I find think that creativity is one of the nicest and most important aspects of human life, if I could travel to the past I would choose a period remarkable for its important artistic production, if I could travel back in time.

Thank you so much again, and if someone wants to add corrections or any other suggestion, you're welcome!

Bye,

Chiara

St1ff  +  356989 Sat, 28 Apr 07 10:49 AM
well for the first part I'd say that you have to change the order to keep the logic, but to connect both parts you should keep your "since" instead of my "as"
chiara, 2 yr 195 days ago

Hello St1ff, thank you for your answer.

Chiara

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