Thank you for the feedback, CalifJim.
CalifJim“Everybody translates a little differently. While there are probably quite a few other ways this could be said, I see nothing wrong with the choices you made.”
Yes, but I am trying to keep it close to the way it is written in Russian. Maybe it is a faulty practice, because different languages use different expression techniquies?
CalifJim “(I didn't get the connection between 'dungeon' and 'secret tunnel', however. Are they one and the same?)”
I, too, have noticed it. This ambiguity is present in the Russan text, but it is supposed to be more or less clear that the entrace into the dungeon (which apparently has some length) is referred to as the tunnel (Mark that I used "the" before "tunnel", while you chose "a"). If this isn't clear at all, I will get rid of the second mention by merging the sentences into one:
«Upon slightly raising the iron sheet and pushing it aside, I was amazed to find under it an entrance into a secret tunnel which went down under the mountain, towards the north.»
I also am not sure how to convey that the tunnel leads to a chamber under the mountain, but does not go under it to open on the other end of the ridge (which is true but should be kept unknown at this point of the game). Could I say that it led "to under the mountain" to emphasize the apparent direction of this entrance-tunnel, and not the orientation of the whole underground passage?
Anton