Help:) Could someone plz check my motivation letter. URGENT

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Anonymous

#277165 Fri, 06 Oct 06 11:52 PM

Hello People
i am applying for my masters degree in France of an engineering course in CAD could someone kindly check my motivation letter.

Da Vinci, Picasso and Michelangelo are famous for their designers mind and power of creativity. They were the comsummate who could engulf the endless beauty of this world into their mind and display it on canvas. I too consider myself in the same league, not with the same amount of fame but with almost similar qualities of a designer.

I find myself very much realted to france as in addition to my mechanical engineering degree i am enhancing my skills on PLM (Product Life Cycle Management ) Tool CATIA V5 at PLMCC( Product And Lifecycle Competency Center ) Noida INDIA which has been setup in collaboration with Government Of France and Dassault Systemes. I had the honour of studying under a french professor, Prof. J L Biaggi ( Head PLMCC Noida ) , who has been my guiding light in darktimes.

My final year major project is ' Designing Of Special Purpose Weldig Machine' which has been collaborated with ' Lycee Diderot ' a french university , thus i am availing the opportunity of working with students of france on the same project. Regualr correspondances with my project parteners in France have provided me with a whole new dimension of approaching toward a problem . I find the method of education being provided in France very interesting and thus i long to be a part of their system.

France is the leader in the field of mechanical designing. Dassault Systemes the inventor of CATIA has its roots in france. It has been my dream to work for such a reputed comany which has revolutionised the world of designing. The first day i laid my hands of computers i knew designing was my field and so i got very much attracted towards the animation field and i tried my hands on softwares like Macromedia Flash MX and 3D Studio Max. Thus being in possession of these skills i had been volantarily working for my college websites for flash presentations and web advetisment work . I wish to integrate the drawings of AutoCad into 3D studio so as to animate them make the designs more interactive.

At highschool i did a project on " Petroleum Conservation For Future Generation " for the " National Children Science Congress " which aims at enlighting students towards their social responsibilities. I representated this project at state level and won awards for it. Thus i am very much aware about my social responsibilities and hope to become a well educated and and a socialized civilian.

When it comes to application of concepts and filling in ideas i am always the first one to hit the floor. I presented my robotics project at IIT Mumbai tech fest where i was made to compete against 110 different robots from all across the world, there also my robot didn't put me down as i hit the 8th position, this was one of my remarkable achievements.

I am a real big fan of french soccer team specially Zinedane Zidane. I love the way he whirls the ball throughout the field with no force in the world able to stop him. This Fifa World Cup 2006 Germany , i was one of the major supporters of France. I myself am an good football player and very much appreciate the spirit of this game. I lead the Counter Strike ( Worlds largest played multiplayer game ) team of my college and recently won the champions trophy at the tournament organized in college.

I am very confident about my decision to pursue my CAD masters in France and I feel that I will be able to excel in this field , because it is something that i am extremely interested in studying and that i will enjoy doing. I am determined to become an exceptional candidate for a career in this field by the time i finish my studies.

Anonymous

Dates, Football, Motivation letters, Universities

nona the brit

#277900 Sun, 08 Oct 06 07:47 PM

1) check your spelling carefully. You have quite a few silly errors.

2) I is always capitalised.

3) Start your letter by stating what you are applying for.

nona the brit

Joined on Wed, Sep 22 2004

England

Veteran Member (11,302)

The name says it all.

Motivation letters, Spelling

Anonymous

#277923 Sun, 08 Oct 06 08:38 PM

Thanks Nona the brit
i would do take care of spelling mistakes
but what i am really worried abt is that is the content rite for the course
the notice stated that my motivation letter shud me max of 2500 is my letter short .
is the amount of content provided rite

Anonymous

Motivation letters, Spelling

nona the brit

#278087 Mon, 09 Oct 06 08:42 AM

Alright then, my opinions on the content

1) It is breathtakingly arrogant of you to say that your talent is equal to Da Vinci, Picasso and Michelangelo. I doubt this will impress - quite the opposite. Certainly say that you are inspired by their talents, but don't say that you consider yourself 'in the same league'. Arrogance is not a quality people look for in their students.

2) realted to france - you don't want the word realted here.

3) You don't really talk about your long-term career objectives and how the course will help you achieve them. I'm a bit confused about your future intentions.Is it engineering? Website design?

4) The football part is a bit irrelevant but won't hurt as you are well within the word limit. Perhaps you could incorporate it into a paragraph about your desire to live in France - at the moment you only talk about wanting to join their educational system, you don't mention France in a wider sense at all. You need to explain 'why France' in a bit more detail.

5) Any French language skills?

nona the brit

Football, Motivation letters, Paragraphs