We have partnered with TradePub to bring you free industry magazines and resources - no coupons or credit cards required!

Visit: englishforums.tradepub.com


Share this topic:
This is a discussion thread.
Latest post Tue, Feb 26 2008 12:40 AM by sandie_bummie. 2 replies.
| |
sandie_bummie  +  481167 Sun, 24 Feb 08 10:55 PM
 hi! this is my first time posted here.I wrote a summary for an article. could you check it for me..I have all the main idea of a paragraph but I have difficulty on how to connection each main idea into a good paragraph.

 

The story "Sometimes One is Not Enough" is written by Terry Trenda. In the story he shared his abused childhood and how he is trying to redeem himself from a life of drugs and gangs. He mention about  Barbara Whitehead's article she states that children raised by one parent are unsuccessful in school and in life. Howeve, mom was in an out of the house. stepfather vented his rage on his seven year old stepson. Jerry was deprived of love and affection from  his parent. he acted out to get their attention. In the young age, he did not know stepfather was not the real dad. Which make his deeply hurt. contstant argurement between mom and stepdad. Mother ignored and reglected him even when she was home. He was suffer from verbal. physical, emotional and mental abuse. For example, stepfather pulled his hair, punched him and threw him against the wall. It broke his heart and spirit. At seventeen he dropped out of school. Joined gangs, did drugs and alcohol became violent and get trouble with law often. He living twenty year of such life. At 38, he turned life around with Gospel Rescue Mission. However,after a year he had a replapse. At present he's been clean for four months. He attending group counseling for Proposition 36 and A.A. meetings. He went back to school and attending Delta College as a freshmen. he is confident with his success. He conclude his story with a advice to the young readers " If we spend all our time in the past and the present, then we are sure to miss out on the future". 

 

sincerely,

Sandy 

Joined on Sun, Feb 24 2008
New Member 14
Doll  +  481571 Mon, 25 Feb 08 07:15 PM

sandie_bummie
“ 

.In the story, he shared his abused childhood and how he is trying to redeem himself from a life of drugs and gangs. He mention about  Barbara Whitehead's article she states that children raised by one parent are unsuccessful in school and in life. However, mom was in an out of the house. Step father vented his rage on his seven year old step son. Jerry was deprived of love and affection from his parent. He acted out to get their attention. In the young age, he did not know that his step  father was not the real dad. Which make his deeply hurt. contstant argurement between mom and stepdad. Mother ignored and reglected him even when she was home. He was suffer from verbal. physical, emotional and mental abuse. For example, stepfather pulled his hair, punched him and threw him against the wall. It broke his heart and spirit. At seventeen he dropped out of school. Joined gangs, did drugs and alcohol became violent and get trouble with law often. He living twenty year of such life. At 38, he turned life around with Gospel Rescue Mission. However,after a year he had a replapse. At present, he's been clean for four months. He attending group counseling for Proposition 36 and A.A. meetings. He went back to school and attending Delta College as a freshmen. he is confident with his success. He concludes his story with a advice to the young readers, " If we spend all our time in the past and the present, then we are sure to miss out on the future". 

 

Sincerely,

Sandy 

  

Sandy, please write your paragraph again. I highlighted the mistakes I could find.

Joined on Sat, Mar 10 2007
Senior Member 2,811
sandie_bummie, 1 yr 271 days ago
 thank you for editing my summary..i really appreciate ur kindness..
© MediaCet Ltd. 2009, v5.0.3614.32638. All content posted by our users is a contribution to the public domain, this does not include imported usenet posts.*
For web related enquires please contact us on webmaster@mediacet.com, status updates are available at status.mediacet.com.
*Usenet post removal: Use 'X-No-Archive'. You may not have understood that your posts would end up in the public domain. Please send proof of the poster's email, we will remove immediately.