Could someone help me this paragraph

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babyblue_girl08  #509673  Mon, 05 May 08 07:17 AM
 

 hi everyone, can u guys please this paragraph for me? I really need to fix this paragraph to pass my engllish class. So please help me to check my grammar. Thanks in advance Smile

 

In the letter written by Ernesto Meza to city of Stockton, he tells about his concerns and his neighbor concerns about missing light in their area. He had mentions some crime that happen in their area because of the failure of the street light. I feel disappoint to the city of Stockton because since too many of letter had sent to them but they didn’t do any action. I know Ernesto and his neighbors all they want just a street light so that they can be safe.

 

After read this letter, I feel lucky that I live in a safe area and I don’t need to worry about the street light and leave the house with no one watch over it. Back in the Philippines I had been living there several years but I didn’t hear any crime and I don’t have any problem with my neighbor. Every time I got home late from school I feel safe because of the street light.

 

On the summer day we used to go to my cousin house for our vacation, every time we leave the house my mom feels cared because no one watches our house. I always said to her “mom just turns the light on, so that everyone thought someone in the house and they don’t have any attention to steal something in our house” I know she worry to leave the house for long time and no one watch over it. After our vacation we went back home save and I feel glad that nothing had been stolen from our house. I think the reason that makes the place safe is because of the street lights.

 

I understand how Ernesto Meza writes this letter to the city of Stockton because he was concerns about the safety in his area. I know street lights are really important to us, because it can make us safe. So I hope the city of Stockton should do any action for them.

 

  
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Mister Micawber  #510137  Tue, 06 May 08 01:24 AM
.
I have underlined some problem areas:


hi everyone, can u guys please this paragraph for me? I really need to fix this paragraph to pass my engllish class. So please help me to check my grammar. Thanks in advance

In the letter written by Ernesto Meza to city of Stockton, he tells about his concerns and his neighbor concerns about missing light in their area. He had mentions some crime that happen in their area because of the failure of the street light. I feel disappoint to the city of Stockton because since too many of letter had sent to them but they didn’t do any action. I know Ernesto and his neighbors all they want just a street light so that they can be safe.

After read this letter, I feel lucky that I live in a safe area and I don’t need to worry about the street light and leave the house with no one watch over it. Back in the Philippines I had been living there several years but I didn’t hear any crime and I don’t have any problem with my neighbor. Every time I got home late from school I feel safe because of the street light.

On the summer day we used to go to my cousin house for our vacation, every time we leave the house my mom feels cared because no one watches our house. I always said to her “mom just turns the light on, so that everyone thought someone in the house and they don’t have any attention to steal something in our house” I know she worry to leave the house for long time and no one watch over it. After our vacation we went back home save and I feel glad that nothing had been stolen from our house. I think the reason that makes the place safe is because of the street lights.

I understand how Ernesto Meza writes this letter to the city of Stockton because he was concerns about the safety in his area. I know street lights are really important to us, because it can make us safe. So I hope the city of Stockton should do any action for them.


You have good ideas, but you must work on your verb tenses especially.

  
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babyblue_girl08  #510145  Tue, 06 May 08 02:24 AM
i know, i have a huge problem with the verb tense. can i ask a favor? if you don't mind can you fix it for me? Can u change the verb tenses for me? Because i really need it for tomorrow in English class. Can u please help me?
  
Mister Micawber  #510148  Tue, 06 May 08 02:31 AM
.
That's no way to learn English.  Put some effort into this.  You're the one getting graded, not I.

  
babyblue_girl08  #510154  Tue, 06 May 08 02:43 AM
 i know,that why im here to ask help and i think i can't fix all my mistake,beacuse i need to pass it for tomorrow and English is my third language that why i'm so poor of it.
  
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