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Any English teacher? I need your help. Pretty Please!?
I have written a brief reflection (250 words) about my group work but I've written it in first person not third person and I also have a feeling that it’s not academically good enough. Can someone help me out? I need help with academic writing and writing in third person. And I beleive I've waffled in my writing, the word counts is 411 but it should be 250 words. The main points that I must include are:
We were able to work together; we were all reliable and punctual for the group meeting. Different key questions were allocated to each individual. Each person researched their information thoroughly, and we were all organised and co-ordinated everything together as a team, from the dress code to the reciting of national anthem and to who was reading each slide. The team worked well together through being punctual for group meeting and contributing effectively to the group work, each individual researched their information accurately and asked for supports when needed via email. This helped us as a group to be confident as a group. However, some people researched more than they were allocated to research, due to their vast experience of working in different countries including the U.S.A, this made some of the members of the group to feel incompetent in their research. But it still helped the rest of the group to gain new knowledge about early childhood education and care. Each member of the group also suggested literatures that would support the group when gathering information for the written part of the assignment.
Points for improvement will be, to ensure that we all have equal information to present, some of the group member felt that some people presented more information than others.
I contributed effectively to the group by being punctual and reliable. Although, I was a little hesitant about choosing U.S.A, during the first meeting, I forgot about my key questions that I was told to research, thus I messaged all the group members via their email and I was sent my chosen questions. I researched my questions thoroughly, however, I felt that one of the team members researched more information about my chosen question even though each individual were allocated their question. This made me to feel unskilled. However, this was clarified between the other group members before the presentation. My work was presented accurately, there was good use of eye contacts and I made use of body language, however, whilst presenting, I realised that some people were blocked from seeing me, which I realised and I apologised and I ensured that everyone saw me.
I read your essay, and have the impression that you repeated yourself a lot. You also did not directly address the second point, "reflection on how learning was achieved". You talked literally about what happened - being punctual, allocating topics, and doing research,- but not anything about the group dynamics and attitudes and methods for learning.
Here are some points to consider. Think about how you would answer the questions. Then pick out the most important ideas or answers and write them down. Then put them in a logical order. This will be the outline for your essay. Then you can write the essay from the points, and re-write to get the word count down to 250 plus or minus 10 percent.
1. Did the group have a leader or leaders? How was they chosen? How were the rules established? Who made the decisions? Was there voting? Was there feedback when someone violated a rule? Can you give an example?
2. What did the group do when there were disagreements? How were these resolved? Was everyone equally satisfied, or were some people left out? How would you describe the general group feeling? Can you think of examples? Did the group form a deliberate "buddy system", or did small cliques form on their own accord? Did these help or detract from the effectiveness of the group and the individuals' learning?
3. What topics did the group work on, how were they allocated, and how did the group determine that there was an equal division of work?
4. Did the group promote, support, or feel responsible for each others learning? If there was a sense of teaching each other, how did they do that? What techniques did they use? Were some of the group members teaching or mentoring the others? Did people take turns as teachers and learners? When certain people felt disadvantaged, did the group discuss it openly?
5. What role did you play in all of the above? Were you a leader? Did you make any suggestions that the group adopted? Was the group open to anyone's suggestions equally? What did you learn from the team dynamics? What did you learn while you were in the group? Would you have learned more or faster or better if you were by yourself? Did this experience change any of your previous attitudes or behaviors? Would you participate in the group again? Why or why not? What were the advantages and disadvantages of being in a group learning exercise?
Allocation of work and workloads were decided by this group member. There were no arguments about the workload. The group member assumed that everyone was on the same level. Some questions were answered but most were not answered to satisfy all members. Individual members needed to do extra research if their questions were to be answered properly. Certain members felt disadvantaged in the group and there was no forum for issues discussion in the group.
The role played by the author in the group was that of a team player, several suggestions were made by the author and some of them were adopted. The group were selective in adopting new ideas.
The team worked well, agreements were reached on almost all issues but little new information was gained by all members. The author believes that group work was an ideal method for quick information gathering, as learning by oneself is time consuming and tiresome. The author was less vocal while working in the group because certain members monopolized the group discussions. The author would not like to work in the same group. However, the author believes that group work is essential and would not mind working in the same group again as the aim of the group was achieved.
It is much much better!!!
I still think you can add more of your personal reflections, rather than a literal description of what happened. It is your opinion, so use the first person (I), rather than third person (the author). Did the teacherspecifically request that you write in third person?
For example, I would start with an introductory sentence, for example.
I and 10 (or whatever the number was) other students formed a work group in order to create a report together on the topic of "xxxxx". Reflecting on how we worked as a group, I saw that from the start, the person with the most knowledge of the topic took over as the leader. This made the group very effective and efficient because.... However, it set up some negative dynamics where ...
Next describe how you worked in the group, and how you felt about your learning in the group.
My role was team player, and .... some of my suggestions were accepted, but some others, which I thought.... were not. The group setting helped me learn because..... On the other hand, believe that the group would have worked better for me if.....
Finally, give your conclusion. Don't mix the ideas for the second paragraph (how you worked in this particular group) in the conclusion...
Finally, the aim of the group was achieved; the information was well presented
and after the presentation, the group reflected on the presentation and we felt that some people carried out in depth research about their question than others.
Your second draft already had a good conclusion. In future revisions, You can delete some repetitions or non-essential ideas to decrease the word count. In some professions, like journalism, word count is extremely important.
If you want to write the entire article in 3rd person, then you can use the technique of passive voice and third person active voice.
It was observed that the person with the most knowledge of the topic assumed a very strong leadership role. (passive, but your reflection)
This set the tone of the group, and determined the group dynamics. (third person analysis of the observation in active voice. Continue other results or examples on this observation.)
Passive voice is often used in formal and academic writing. It avoids first person (I, we), and "the author" as a subject. Passive voice can sound impersonal, stiff and disembodied though, so use it sparingly.
In your essay, with so much emphasis on personal reflection, in my opinion, first person would be more effective.
Thanks a bunch!
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