PhD Cover Letter ! Need help to correct it

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Quan  #415753  Sat, 08 Sep 07 07:41 AM

Hello all,


First of all, i would like to thank everyone who have good posts on this forum. It helps me a lot when I learn English.
I am now writting a PhD. Cover Letter. I would highly appreciate any help to improve it.
Please help! I am not good at writting .

Thank you in advance.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

On recommendation of Prof. Dr. ***, University of ***, I am writing to apply for the PhD. Student position at ***. I have enclosed a completed resume for your review.

My name is Quan Nguyen, a fresh graduate from University of *** In March 2007, I hold the Master degree in Communication and Media Engineering. During my last academic year, I had a chance to do my internship and master thesis in *** company. There I developed not only my knowledges in web development but also real working experiences in an international environment. My thesis is related to the issues in Business Intelligent and Web 2.0. I obtained skills in J2EE programming and advanced web technologies for Enterprise Applications including Jboss, Portal/Portlet, Ajax, Web services,etc.. It was a great experience for me, which has focused my interests on the topic of Web 2.0 technologies.


After my graduation, I worked as a PHP developer for ***, an IT and business consulting company. I gained further experiences in web programming, project management and team-working.


As well as my good understanding of academic principles, I am a very motivated, hardworking and effective individual. Throughout my career, I obtained a good communication and organizational skills. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

For my future career, I see this PhD program as the way to broaden my knowledges in designing and implementing Enterprise Distributed Applications, as well as how to apply these applications in business, which SAP is now the best solution. This program proposes areas of research that match my interests, such as Business Process Management and Semantic Web Technologies. I have no doubt in mind that I have enough knowledges, skills and competence to pursue the PhD program in your research center.


I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to discuss how I may be suitable for this position. I am now on vacation in Vietnam, but can be reached at any time via email or telephone at number +***.

Thank you very much for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.


Yours faithfully,


Quan Nguyen


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Kathrin  #416180  Sun, 09 Sep 07 09:21 AM

Hello all,


First of all, i would like to thank everyone who have good posts on this forum. It helps me a lot when I learn English.
I am now writting a PhD. Cover Letter. I would highly appreciate any help to improve it.
Please help! I am not good at writting .

Thank you in advance.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir or Madam,

On recommendation of Prof. Dr. ***, University of ***, I am writing to you in order to apply for the PhDtthe PhD-program you are offering. Student position at ***. I have enclosed a completed resume for your review.

My name is Quan Nguyen, a fresh graduate from University of *** [Please don't introduce yourselve in a formal letter, it is very unprofessional. Besides, your resume is enclosed.] In March 2007, I hold got the Master degree in Communication and Media Engineering. During my last academic year, I had a chance to do an my internship and master thesis in the *** company. There I gained profound developed not only my knowledges in web development but also real as well as working experiences in an international environment. My thesis is related to the issues in Business Intelligent and Web 2.0. I obtained skills in J2EE programming and advanced web technologies for Enterprise Applications including Jboss, Portal/Portlet, Ajax, Web services,etc.. It was a great experience for me, which has focused my interests on the topic of Web 2.0 technologies.


After my graduation, I worked as a PHP developer for ***, an IT and business consulting company. I gained further experiences in web programming, project management and team-working.


As well as my good understanding of academic principles, I am a very motivated, hardworking and effective individual. Throughout my career, I obtained a good communication and organizational skills. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

For my future career, I see this PhD program as the way to broaden my knowledges in designing and implementing Enterprise Distributed Applications, as well as how to apply these applications use them in business, which in the case that SAP is now the best solution. This Your program proposes covers areas of research that match my interests, such as Business Process Management and Semantic Web Technologies. I have no doubt in mind that I have enough knowledges, skills and competence to pursue the PhD program in your research center.


I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to discuss how I may be suitable for this position. I am now on vacation in Vietnam, but can be reached at any time via email or telephone at number +***.[Your contact data should be in the resume and every person in the business wourld know how to reach an other person. If your contact data are not on the resume, you should put it there and don't write about it. Again, it looks very unprofessional, sorry, if I am too hard by trying to help]

Thank you very much for your time an your consideration. My resume is enclosed. I look forward to hearing from you.


Yours faithfully,


Quan Nguyen



  
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Is it me or is it the universe? It could be the universe but I am not sure thus I have been still wondering and drinking tea. However, the tea is getting cold.
Quan  #416830  Mon, 10 Sep 07 05:30 PM
I am so grateful to you for your correction.

it is actually very unprofessional. I will rewrite it now.

Thanks !
  
Kathrin  #416949  Tue, 11 Sep 07 12:32 AM
Hi,

if you want to make it right, so seek good samples in special books, Internet, whatever. But look for similar samples.  Sometimes the universities  have samples on the homepage, you know the Internet . Then keep to the samples and everything would be  fine.

Best wishes,

Kathrin
  
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