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creating suspense....Is this correct?

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Creativeguru  #538660  Wed, 09 Jul 08 10:40 AM

Interested in new line of jewellery :

For Fashion Women

Very unique

Instant visual identification

Are you?

 

  
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Mister Micawber  #538665  Wed, 09 Jul 08 11:04 AM
.
Sorry, CG, but to me it just seems to be unrelated phrases.
  
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Neeraj Jain  #538672  Wed, 09 Jul 08 11:15 AM
I don't think that this is creating any suspense.
  
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Creativeguru  #538679  Wed, 09 Jul 08 11:44 AM
How about the following............... 

Build the strong international business network… A new line of jewellery:

For Fashion Women

Very unique

Instant visual identification

 

Are you interested?

 

  
Mister Micawber  #538681  Wed, 09 Jul 08 11:54 AM
.
OK, with a few adjustments:


Build a strong international business network… A new line of jewellery...

For fashionable women

Unique

Instant visual identification

Are you interested?

Things are either unique or not unique; the word is not gradable.


  
Creativeguru  #538688  Wed, 09 Jul 08 12:16 PM

Thanks a lot

  
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