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Latest post Sun, Oct 12 2008 8:35 PM by Clive. 1 replies.
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unsg  +  575685 Sun, 12 Oct 08 01:26 PM
please correct this curriculum vitae
this for my preparation to apply university
thanks in advance!


description start from part c :

C. Non Academic Education

       Jesslyn moved to Bandar Lampung from third grade at primary school until junior high school. She first started studying piano for pop and jazz at about September 2004 in Elfa Music School. Then started learn classical music at the early of 2005 by a private piano teacher. At the middle of 2006 Jesslyn moved to BSD and continue to study classical music at Yayasan Musik Jakarta, and then moved to Soulista Music about 2007, which is using ABRSM curricula. At the present, Jesslyn is studying classical piano under guidance of Mr. Indra Santoso at grade 5 ABRSM music education and will follow the exam at the middle of October 2008.

D. Activities and Achievements

       Jesslyn’s education achievements are good enough. At junior high school jesslyn always attempted about the fifth or sixth position at her class. At 10th grade high school she got the 3rd and 4th rank in her class. She also has become a participant for the national competition for administrative region represented the school for physics subject.  On grade 11, she got the eight rank for the science class, and become the best students in her pararel class.

       At the first year of high school jesslyn has been participated to the intra school organization (OSIS) as the creative art section. Participated to OSIS within one year, she also has been chosen as one of the Stella Maris Fair committee.

       Besides the academic achievements, she also participates in many kinds of music performance held by school, at her senior high school. She also participates at annual music concerts at Soulista music course, for a solo piano performance, or performance for piano duet. At December 2007 she participated at a marathon concert for Jakarta region in “Indonesia Young Musician Performance 2007” which was held by staccato magazine. At the present, jesslyn is studying music based on ABRSM curricula, and will follow the exam for grade 5 ABRSM at October 2008.

Joined on Sun, Oct 12 2008
New Member 01
Clive  +  575761 Sun, 12 Oct 08 08:35 PM
Hi,
Welcome to the Forum.

I assume that you are Jesslyn, since you speak of 'my CV'. If so, why are you writing in the third person. eg Instead of 'Jesslyn studied . . ', say 'I studied . . .  '.

However, please also note this. In resumes and CV's, we normally do not write in full sentences and paragraphs. Instead, the convention is to write them in point form, eg

D. Activities and Achievements

       -  3rd. in class in grade 10

       -  8th in class in Grade 11 science

       - chosen as member of Stella Maris Fair committee.

   Best wishes, Clive  

Joined on Thu, Oct 28 2004
Canada
Veteran Member 29,585
El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo
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