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Thedynamix  #480698  Sat, 23 Feb 08 02:58 PM
 Hi guys, 

 

I have a sentence structure question. the fllowing sentence sort of makes sense, but I'm wondering if anyone can see any flaws and possibly optimise it, as it may be a little long winded? Here goes:

 "The fact that the UK plans to cut carbon emissions by 60% by 2050 and worldwide government nanotechnology investment is US$4 billion, to date, indicates a strong belief that nanotechnology is the key to addressing our environmental issues."

 

This place is fantastic, I wish I knew about it a long time ago!

 

Thank you guys! 

  
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Delmobile  #480706  Sat, 23 Feb 08 03:09 PM
The only problem I can see is that you seem to have two facts: 1) the UK plans to cut carbon emissions, and 2) worldwide government nanotechnology investment is US $4 billion. So I'm wondering if the sentence should read "The facts...indicate." My good friend "both" might be of help here: "Both the fact that the UK plans...and that worldwide gov't investment is...indicate a strong belief, not only in the UK, but worldwide, that nanotechnology..."

 

I added that extra bit because I'm not really sure what nanotechnology has to do with carbon emissions. I thought it was tiny electronics. You could tell me, or I could Google it I suppose.

 

(Del sighs as she realizes she is going to spend another three hours helplessly pinioned in front of her computer monitor, avidly reading something she doesn't really have to know about)

 

 

  
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Thedynamix  #480749  Sat, 23 Feb 08 04:34 PM
 You're right, twice!

 Your version "The facts... indicates" sounds much better. I'll rework it and post it up for eval.

 You were also right about nanotech being "tiny" science. My whole report is on how renaissance of nanotechnology will stem from its ability to address the environmental issues, in the way off water purification, bio-fuel, bio-ethanol, solar energy (a cost-effective solar energy), more efficient batteries (and pretty much all electronics).

 The next industrial revolution as some have put it...Whether or not I agree... I'll let you know after writing it..

  
Delmobile  #480781  Sat, 23 Feb 08 06:56 PM
 I look forward to reading it, whether or not it needs editing!
  
Thedynamix  #481197  Mon, 25 Feb 08 01:29 AM
 Hey hey! I come in seek of some more assistance, if you'd please...

 Sentence is:

" At the same time, some believe nanotechnology to be ‘grey goo’ with caveats of self-replicating nano-organisms destined to conquer and destroy the world."

 

Have I used caveats in the right way here? If not, and you can see what I'm trying to do, please correct where neccessary. Thanks and lots of love!

 

(And yes of course you can read a copy of it. I'll post it here afterwards, as it will be public domain in about.. 24 hours anyways :D) 

  
Delmobile  #481207  Mon, 25 Feb 08 02:00 AM
 No, I don't think so - a caveat is a warning or caution. Caveat emptor = Let the buyer beware. I think here you mean something like a virus or booby-trap, is that right? Is it a particular sci-fi reference, this business of tiny Trojan horses lying in wait within the gray goo? If you've got a specific film or lit reference that most people would understand (I am woefully ignorant of this aspect of pop culture) that would be a colorful way to phrase this, especially since "self-replicating nano-organisms destined to conquer and destroy the world" would then explain it for any clods who hadn't gotten the reference. 

 

PS: I come in search of some more assistance, if you please.

  
Thedynamix  #481211  Mon, 25 Feb 08 02:10 AM
It isn't in referene to any particular sci-fi novel/movies, no.

That sentence was construed (is that the right context?) by me in reference to human perception of negative sci-fi futures..

 How would you re-create that sentence then? I bt you'd do it with so much more grace than mine... Mine sounds rigid... Plus it's incorrect !

  
Thedynamix  #481212  Mon, 25 Feb 08 02:15 AM
 What about:

" At the same time, some believe nanotechnology to be ‘grey goo’ and have caveats of self-replicating nano-organisms destined to conquer and destroy the world."

Sorry for double posting. Probably still way off. :( 

  
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