Hi,
Another approach is to define these words thus:
A thesis is a proposition, which needs to be maintained or proved, eg
All men are created equal.
AIDS is caused by a virus.
A dissertation is a detailed and comprehensive speech, or written document, about a subject, eg
A survey of the state of human rights in China.
A history of the English-Speaking peoples.
The state of my health since I was a child.
Although these two terms are often associated with higher education, their use is not restricted to academic matters.
Wife to husband: The Smiths are coming to dinner tomorrow. For God's sake, don't go into another of your boring dissertations about your stamp collection.
Detective to second detective: I know he wanted his wife dead. My thesis is that he payed a hit-man to kill her. Now, all we have to do is prove it!
Best wishes, Clive