Doubts about the right vocabulary

 

Hey, I'm writting this text to a work report and need help abut the right vocaulary in green. What isthe right word in the folw. phrases?

 Thanks 

Taking the question of performance in the workplace, relevant issues include: how, if at all,

increased female participation will weigh/ impact/bear on the work environment and whether women

are integrated/mingled/unified into the paid workforce as primary or secondary earners.

Estimation/Notion Speculation about decreasing opportunities for secure career and ‘jobs for life’ has intensified

following recent high-profile examples of company reorganisation, downsizing and outsourcing. Is

this a major and lasting variation/amendment in patterns of employment? What are the social and economic

consequences within the household of uncertain careers? As organisations downsize, multi-skilling

and work flexibility become crucial/prime/foremost . But who is responsible for training in the necessary skills:

employers, the state or the individual?

 

Hi Anon,
Aside from Feeb11's comment, I'd like to offer my 2 cents which may be uncomfortable for you to hear.
I got a hint of what you are trying to say but the tone and construct of your article are uncomfortably awkward. It has an abstract impression to me.

>>>>the question of performance in the workplace,relevant issues include( It's hard for reader to grasp what you try to depict right away the way it's cosrtrcuted) : how, if at all, increased female participation will weigh/ impact/bear on the work environment and whether women are integrated/mingled/unified into the paid workforce as primary or secondary earner.

Estimation/Notion Speculation about decreasing opportunities for secure career and ‘jobs for life’ has intensified following recent high-profile examples of company reorganisation, ( this is more than a mouthful! ) downsizing and outsourcing. Is this a major and lasting variation/amendment in patterns of employment? What are the social and economic consequences within the household of uncertain careers? As organisations downsize, multi-skillingand work flexibility become crucial/prime/foremost . But who is responsible for training in the necessary skills: employers, the state or the individual?<<<

You used a lot of jargns to compose this piece but I regret to tell you that they did not effectively make your points come across as clear. My advise is, try to master a simpler sentence pattern before attempting using big words and complex sentence structures. I don't know if it's me who failed to understand your post but that's how it appeared to me. I am just being straight forward. Sorry if I hurt your feelings!

 

I think a comment like yours, Mr. Goodman, is what makes a good teacher.