RE: Dutch girl writing English needs you help!

thank you very much for correcting my motivtion letter. I like the corrections you did!

Of course I am only writing about one university, so they are all the same!

I now think that my letter is quite good under the formal aspect. Do you think that the contents is ok? Don't you think it is too boring or anything?? Criticize my letter!

thanks

In summer 2006, I will take my A-level exams.  I like traveling very much and I am very interested in foreign countries, cultures and languages, so I have always wanted to do a gap year after finishing school to go abroad for a time. This wish has probably developed because I already have quite an international background.  My mother was born in the Netherlands, which is the reason for me being of Dutch nationality, and I speak Dutch quite well.  My father comes from Poland.  I was born in Switzerland, where we are still living. With my family I have traveled a lot, as our relatives live everywhere in Europe.  Last summer I took part in an English language course in the south of England, which I enjoyed very much.

Apart from being interested in going abroad and gaining new experiences, I would also like to start a course of study in business economics.  Modern economics fascinates me, and I would like to deepen my understanding of this subject. When I heard about the IBEB programme at ABC University, ABCVille, [I trust that this is the same as XYZ above?] I knew immediately this was the perfect solution for me.  It would offer me the opportunity to study business economics in an international arena. I would like to enrol in a programme offered in English, since it is the language generally used in international business.  As I have already passed the Cambridge First Certificate in English, I think I can master the requirements of English at EUR.

WOOHOO University, WOOHOOVille, [If these are not all the same university, then you should discard this letter and start again.] attracted me because of its location, its interactive education, its events, congresses and high standard of education that assists students throughout the learning process. I would enjoy the dynamic city that has an international business-oriented atmosphere. NANINANI University NANINANIVille [Ditto.] has several marketing competitions and workshops that I am looking forward to participating in. This university has a worldwide academic reputation and also supports a lot of exchange programmes which are quite important for me. I enjoy the idea of studying in the Netherlands because I like the climate, the language and the people's openness.

My career aspirations go in the direction of economics. I want to do something that includes marketing, international contacts and languages.  I am particularly interested in management consulting. I enjoy working with people and developing creative international marketing strategies to attract different target groups with different international backgrounds.  I am an open-minded, organized person who likes to work in a team.

Thank you very much for considering my application.  I hope to hear from you in the near future.

Yours faithfully,