Pls edit my motivation letter for master course !it's so urgent

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chocopie  #532145  Wed, 25 Jun 08 04:44 AM
Hi all!
I have to write a motivation letter to apply for MMSS course ( Master of Marketing, sales, service) tomorrow.By chance, i know about this forum and i see that all members are very enthusiastic and kind to help our English.So i decide to ask for your help to edit my application letter.This is my letter:


June 24th,2008
Dear Sir/Madam,
According to the information for admission the new course of CFVG on the website http:// cfvg.org, I am writing to apply to the MMSS program of CFVG- the 18th intake.
I have graduated from Banking University in 2006 and now I have been  working at VietNamairlines as representative.During 2 years, I learned a lot knowledge and skills of customer services and marketing also .However, I think that in the global economics, learning more specialized knowledge is very important and necessary and it will become a basic foundation to help me to catch up with economic development.
I believe the MMSS program of CFVG  is a wonderful environment and an opportunity for me to learn good knowledge on marketing, sales, service and  to achieve my career objectives.
I should be grateful if you give my application a serious consideration.My enclosed curriculum-vitae describes my qualification in detail.And further information will be supply upon your request.
I am looking forward to joining your MMSS program.
Your sincerely,


English is my second language so i can make mistake.Hope receiving your help.Thanks all ^ ^
  
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Goodman  #532164  Wed, 25 Jun 08 05:57 AM
chocopie
Hi all!
I have to write a motivation letter to apply for MMSS course ( Master of Marketing, sales, service) tomorrow.By chance, i know about this forum and i see that all members are very enthusiastic and kind to help our English.So i decide to ask for your help to edit my application letter.This is my letter:

 This doesn't look at a movtivation letter. In fact, it's more like a cover letter of a resume. This is my revision.

June 24th,2008
Dear Sir/Madam,
Based on the admission requirement obtained from the CFVGwebsite http:// cfvg.org, I am writing to apply for the MMSS program at CFVG- .
I have graduated from Banking University in 2006 and I have been  working for VietNam Airline  as a service representative. For the last 2 years, I've learned a lot of valuable experience and skills in marketing and customer services However, I believe in order to be competative in the lobal economy, it's important for me to acquire more specialized training / knowledge; and I also believe the MMSS program of CFVG is the place where I can achieve my career goals.
I'd be sincerely grateful if you would give my application a deep consideration. Enclosed is a copy of my resume which describes my qualification in details. Further information can be provided upon request.
I am looking forward to joining your MMSS program.
Your sincerely,


  
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chocopie  #532186  Wed, 25 Jun 08 08:19 AM
Thanks Goodman very much! I see that the letter is more fluent than before.
But i really want to know the differrence between cover letter and motivation letter.Anyone can explain for me?
  
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