Effects of Illiteracy on Society

This is a discussion thread · 17 replies
1 2
Could you have a look at it please? All your ideas as to how I should edit it are welcome.

EFFECTS OF ILLITERACY ON SOCIETY

Recent studies show that there is an increasing rate of illiteracy all over the world.A study conducted by WSI(World Statistics Institute) shows that over 27% of people are illiterate globaly. Another study by the same institute shows that the speed at which illiteracy rate ascends is 32%. These rates are quite important, as illiteracy has terrible effects on society.
The most important effect of illiteracy on society is that, it works as an inhibitor. That is to say, the more illiterate people there are in a country, the harder it will be for the country to develop. This fact could be clarified with an example: America(whose illiteracy rate is below 5%) and Canada(Illiteracy rate: around 8%) are developed countries, whereas countries, like Turkey and Iran(Illiteracy rates: 61% and 43% in order) are undeveloped countries.
Illiteracy has got a kind of "genetic" effect. The children of illiterate people are more likely to be illiterate that those who aren't. Even if the parents don't want their children to be illiterate, their children, observing the parents, see that they somehow manage to live and adopt the idea that illiteracy isn't actually a bad thing. And since people develop most of their character during childhood, they choose to go with illiteracy.
Another major effect of illiteracy is that, illiterate people believe in the said things easily. They do not investigate what was said or told to them. When looked at the pages of history, it can be seen that, while most uneducated people are slaves, guardians and assistants; people who are educated are mostly kings, quenns and sultans. They are not slaves because they wanted, but because people superior to them in terms of education made them so.
All these significant results of illiteracy affect society in a bad way. So, illiteracy rates must be tried to cut down.
New Member35
Thread is locked
Super SonicCould you have a look at it please? All your ideas as to how I should edit it are welcome.

EFFECTS OF ILLITERACY ON SOCIETY

Recent studies show that there is an increasing rate of illiteracy all over the world. A study conducted by WSI (World Statistics Institute) shows that over 27% of people are illiterate globally. Another study by the same institute shows that the speed at which the illiteracy rate ascends is 32% [32% of what?]. These rates are quite important, as illiteracy has terrible effects on society.
The most important effect of illiteracy on society is that it works as an inhibitor. That is to say, the more illiterate people there are in a country, the harder it will be for the country to develop. This fact could be clarified with an example: America (whose illiteracy rate is below 5%) and Canada (illiteracy rate: around 8%) are developed countries, whereas countries like Turkey and Iran (illiteracy rates: 61% and 43% in order [respectively]) are undeveloped countries.
Illiteracy has got a kind of "genetic" effect. The children of illiterate people are more likely to be illiterate than those who aren't [aren't what? - rewrite this sentence to make it clear]. Even if the parents don't want their children to be illiterate, their children, observing the parents, see that they somehow manage to live and adopt the idea that illiteracy isn't actually a bad thing [not very clearly expressed - try a rewrite]. And since people develop most of their character during childhood, they choose to go with illiteracy.
Another major effect of illiteracy is that illiterate people believe in the said things easily. They do not investigate what was said or told to them. When looked [looking] at the pages of history, it can be seen that while most uneducated people are [were] slaves, guardians and assistants; people who are [were] educated are [were] mostly kings, queens and sultans. They [Who?] are not slaves because they wanted, but because people superior to them - in terms of education - made them so.
All these significant results of illiteracy affect society in a bad way. So, illiteracy rates must be tried to cut down.
When looked at the pages of history, it can be seen that while most uneducated people are slaves, guardians and assistants; people who are educated are mostly kings, queens and sultans

This sentence would be better with "it can be seen that slaves, workers and menials were mostly uneducated whereas rulers were usually educated". You have made a very contentious statement as slaves were often highly educated (particularly in Ancient Rome) and kings or queens were often not particularly educated.
Veteran Member5,006
Proficient Speaker: Users in this role are known to maintain an excellent grasp of the English language. You can only be promoted to this role by the Englishforums team.Retired Moderator: A moderator who has retired.
Thread is locked
Feebs11
Super SonicCould you have a look at it please? All your ideas as to how I should edit it are welcome.

EFFECTS OF ILLITERACY ON SOCIETY

Recent studies show that there is an increasing rate of illiteracy all over the world. A study conducted by WSI (World Statistics Institute) shows that over 27% of people are illiterate globally. Another study by the same institute shows that the speed at which the illiteracy rate ascends is 32% [32% of what?]. These rates are quite important, as illiteracy has terrible effects on society.
The most important effect of illiteracy on society is that it works as an inhibitor. That is to say, the more illiterate people there are in a country, the harder it will be for the country to develop. This fact could be clarified with an example: America (whose illiteracy rate is below 5%) and Canada (illiteracy rate: around 8%) are developed countries, whereas countries like Turkey and Iran (illiteracy rates: 61% and 43% in order [respectively]) are undeveloped countries.
Illiteracy has got a kind of "genetic" effect. The children of illiterate people are more likely to be illiterate than those who aren't [aren't what? - rewrite this sentence to make it clear]. Even if the parents don't want their children to be illiterate, their children, observing the parents, see that they somehow manage to live and adopt the idea that illiteracy isn't actually a bad thing [not very clearly expressed - try a rewrite]. And since people develop most of their character during childhood, they choose to go with illiteracy.
Another major effect of illiteracy is that illiterate people believe in the said things easily. They do not investigate what was said or told to them. When looked [looking] at the pages of history, it can be seen that while most uneducated people are [were] slaves, guardians and assistants; people who are [were] educated are [were] mostly kings, queens and sultans. They [Who?] are not slaves because they wanted, but because people superior to them - in terms of education - made them so.
All these significant results of illiteracy affect society in a bad way. So, illiteracy rates must be tried to cut down.
When looked at the pages of history, it can be seen that while most uneducated people are slaves, guardians and assistants; people who are educated are mostly kings, queens and sultans

This sentence would be better with "it can be seen that slaves, workers and menials were mostly uneducated whereas rulers were usually educated". You have made a very contentious statement as slaves were often highly educated (particularly in Ancient Rome) and kings or queens were often not particularly educated.
Thank you so much Emotion: smile
Thread is locked
Anonymous:
The illiteracy rate in the U.S. is actually about 20%.
Thread is locked
Anonymous:
this is very ture! and to the author you could try and make your facts ture because people cold be doing research on this topic and turn it in and get point deducted for having false infomation.
Thread is locked
Anonymous:
You are wrong. Turkey's literacy rate is 90%. Also Turkey is not an undeveloped country it is an developing country.
Thread is locked
- If I were you, I would express: "The most important effect is that illiteracy works as an inhibitor to the society" instead of "The most important effect of illiteracy on society is that it works as an inhibitor."

- That is to say = In other words

I wonder if "That is to say" is less formal than "in other words". Could you please check again? I tried searching for this but haven't found the rational answer. I think your essay should be written in formal language, however, I find some of your expressions informal. For example, you placed "So" at the beginning of a sentence.

- In my opinion, the sentence "America whose illiteracy rate is below 5% and Canada (illiteracy rate: around 8%) are developed countries, whereas countries like Turkey and Iran (illiteracy rates: 61% and 43% in order) are undeveloped countries." is not clear enough to clarify your point. What you wanted to focus is that the countries whose illiteracy rates are low have more likelihood to be developed countries. Thus, try another expression here.

Hope that my ideas will contribute to improve this piece of writing
New Member47
Thread is locked
I think your points are interesting, but a little late for the originator of the thread, whose essay was written in 2006 Emotion: sad
Proficient Speaker: Users in this role are known to maintain an excellent grasp of the English language. You can only be promoted to this role by the Englishforums team.Retired Moderator: A moderator who has retired.
Thread is locked
Yep, I knew; but I still wanted to share my opinions. Also it would be great if I receive any feedback and correction (if needed).

By the way, could you please help with my wondering about the use of "that is to say".

Thank you! Emotion: smile
Thread is locked
Show more
Live chat
Registered users can join here