error checking!

   Share on Facebook  
alia  #510300  Tue, 06 May 08 11:58 AM

Hello to everybody,

I find this site very helpful and I used some tips and coments on other posts before writing my own motivation letter to university.

I'm not native english speaker, so can I ask your help in correcting this letter (words, grammar) or if something isn't really convenient to write, please comment.

Thank you in advance,

Here is letter:

 

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

I would like to express my interest for admission to a master program Cultural Economics and Cultural Entrepreneurship within *** university.

I have completed four years of undergraduate studies in Tourism and Hospitality management and after graduating I was certain that I want to undertake a postgraduate study. During studies I became very interested in the culture and its affect to tourism and sustainable development of economics. My graduation paper was related to renovation of cultural architectural objects and its impact for surrounding territory and economics where I reviewed the problem of cultural heritage in ***country and came to conclusion that culture can create the balance between material world and society. (for me it seems unfinished here, but  I was not able  to make  a "bridge")

Regarding my career aspirations working in cultural industries and becoming a manager of cultural organization I want to obtain Master's degree in cultural entrepreneurship. This knowledge will allow me to understand specific management principles what is needed in creative industries and I will be able to fully realize my professional goals.

I am confident that I have the necessary combination of self-motivation, background, personality and academic knowledge to succeed in the Master’s degree program. I hope that my experience at Erasmus University will equip me to manage my future well and also prepare me to make significant contributions to the development of my country.

 Should I write some "looking forward... " -like sentence at the end?

Yours faithfully,

Name Surname

  
Not Ranked
Joined on Fri, May 2 2008
First Post (02)
26TMNTJG2PG  #510327  Tue, 06 May 08 12:26 PM
26TMNTJG2PG  #510315  Tue, 06 May 08 12:16 PM
It is complete here. Earlier version is the result of an accidental click of the 'Post' button. 
 
Dear Sir/Madam,

 

 

I would like to express my interest for admission to a master program Cultural Economics and Cultural Entrepreneurship within *** university.

I have completed four years of undergraduate studies in Tourism and Hospitality management and after graduating I have become certain that I want to undertake a postgraduate study. During studies I became very interested in the culture and its effect on tourism and sustainable development of economics. My graduation paper was related to renovation of cultural architectural objects and its impact for surrounding territory and economics where I reviewed the problems of cultural heritage in ***country and came to conclusion that culture can create the balance between material world and society. And that has enhanced my desire to go for a postgraduate study to take me further.

Regarding my career aspirations working in cultural industries and becoming a manager of a cultural organization, I want to obtain a Master's degree in cultural entrepreneurship. Such knowledge will enable me to understand specific management principles of what is needed in creative industries and I will be able to fully realize my professional goals.

I am confident that I have the necessary combination of self-motivation, background, personality and academic knowledge to succeed in the Master’s degree program. I hope that my experience at Erasmus University will equip me to manage my future well and also prepare me to make significant contributions to the development of my country.

I look forward to receiving your favourable reply soon.

Thank you.

Yours faithfully,

Name Surname

  
Not Ranked
Joined on Wed, Apr 23 2008
Member (53)
alia  #510328  Tue, 06 May 08 12:26 PM
 Thanks, for the 'bridge"

alia. 

  
AddThis Feed Button RSS Feed: error checking!
© 2008 MediaCET Ltd.
Terms and Conditions