Evaluation needed!

 Hi,

   I've written a short story thru which i intend to know how many mistakes i make while writing, i.e., my vocabulary, grammer.As it's difficult evaluating myself, could anyone evaluate and rate my writing, perhaps on a scale of 1 to 10? Please be critical.

         She was working as a General Manager in a multinational company. She had everything in her anybody would ever desire for. Had an astounding personality… this look on her face… a positive look that would give such an insight into her mind… She could handle everything on her own… come what may… she would never be deterred… Had this thing in her to manage every thing on her own… make her own decisions and then eventually letting everyone know how correct she was of having taken them… more than others, letting the inner person in her know that… she never cared a hang about others…

                            She was from a typical Indian family with typical middle class values taught to her during her upbringing… She was some 28 years old now…And still marriage was not on the cards… Her parents had become a little apprehensive and tried to put some sense into her head but to no help. She knew her mind well and right now, all she could think of was her work…

         It was not that she had always been this strong. There was a time when she was fragile, so vulnerable that very small things would shake her world. She had fallen in love with this guy some 10 years ago…had loved him heart and soul but it failed and she had sensed that she had portrayed herself as a loser… She was so concerned about what people would think.

 With time, she started learning things… She    started looking at things with a different perspective… a positive one…

              She worked hard and reached that place where she had always wanted to be… And the source of her inspiration was none other than the guy who she was in love with... probably she still was…

                        She had gone thru a tremendous change… She had become a strong person and had learnt to be always correct… She couldn’t love anyone again… for that place in her heart was reserved for someone who probably didn’t ever remember her…

       These days she was working and working… had made herself involved in a very grueling schedule… and of course, trying to evade the pressure that her parents were putting on her for getting married, as she was their elder daughter and their younger one was now 23… She knew she could deal with that too. She was satisfied but was certainly not happy. Quite contradicting, but that was the truth. Deep down inside her, she knew there was something missing but couldn’t do anything.

                        She had to go to Sydney for a meeting that she had to attend to… She was used to such kind of tours as they were the part of her professional life…

 Little did she know, there was something written in her destiny that would change her entire life, ironically once again…             

Thanks.