Everyday jokes from Deepblue :-)

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ryan smith

#16041 Tue, 16 Dec 03 11:17 AM

A man walks into a shop and sees a dog sitting in the corner.

He asks the shop's owner, "Does your dog bite?"

"No, my dog does not bite," replies the owner.

The man, cooing soflty, then tries to pet the dog, which immediately bites him viciously.

"Ahh! I thought you told me that your dog does not bite!" he says.

"Sir, that," the owner says gesturing to the animal, "is not my dog."

Oh well, it's funnier on film -- one of the Pink Pather movies.

ryan smith

Joined on Tue, Sep 9 2003

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chris

#16043 Tue, 16 Dec 03 11:24 AM

I like that one - and I do remember it from Pink Panther!

How about a Beckham joke!!!

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the Horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace. Victoria admiringly watches her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose His grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck. David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!!

Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

chris

Joined on Mon, Apr 7 2003

Malta

Contributing Member (1,105)

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ryan smith

#16044 Tue, 16 Dec 03 11:28 AM

A man enters the smoking carriage of a train and sits down in the last empty seat, which happens to be next to a woman. The man lights a large cigar.

The woman glares at him and says, "a true gentleman would not smoke sitting next to a lady."

"A true lady would not ride in the smoking carriage," he replies continuing to smoke.

"If I were your wife, I'd feed you poison!" she cries.

"Madam, if I were your husband, I would eat it."

ryan smith